Okay, I know I've said this before, probably a million and one times before but I am sooooo sick of taking care of the PICC line.  I know I should have more patience than I show at times but it is so anxiety producing and I just don't need anything more to worry about in my life. 

Last night, Shelbie accidently caught her PICC line arm on something and the whole contraption, all 300 layers of sterile gauze slid down her arm, including the IV line!  It was pulled out a good 2 inches!! Oh my goodness...if that didn't get my heart pumpin, and Shelbie's too.  Of course, I can't cry and quiver, I'm the freakin mom!  I am suppose to know how to remain calm in a crisis! Try telling my insides that...but I did keep myself cool, calm and collected.  So much so, Shelbie asked why I didn't seem to care.  Oh, if she only knows what I go through in my head each day. 

I had no choice but to thread the IV back through her vein...blahhh.  I have done and seen a lot of medical procedures in my day but that gave me the heebie jeebies!  The horrible thing is, I had no more sterile gloves!!  Home Health was here in the morning but I wasn't and they didn't leave me enough supplies and I had run out of sterile gloves.  At the late hour, I couldn't just run to the medical supply store for more so I did what I thought was the best thing.  I grabbed the IV tube with an alcohol pad as I slid it back up her arm. 

About 1:00am this morning, after just barely getting to sleep, I woke in a cold sweat and panic that not only did I thread the IV in but sent with it all kinds of bacteria that would turn into a raging blood infection and she would die!  Oh my gosh, it was a horrible night!  I can only pray God will make a miracle out of my lousy nursing skills. 

Anyways, I heard back from our great Doc this morning and they will stitch it to her arm!  I am so relieved.  Sometimes, it's the little things that throw you over the edge...not chemo, not bone marrow failure but a stupid PICC line!


  1. Whoa. That sounds so awful! I'm sorry you woke up like that in the night. It sounds like something I would do too!

  2. oh I bet that was THE worst feeling ever! I would have freaked out too, having to put it back in! and to think I sometimes want to be a nurse...yeah the thought really doesn't last long.

  3. I've really enjoyed reading your blog, you are a great writer and so strong. I hope I can take a little strength from you as I face my own trials. We loved your thoughtful package--i hung the chain up around the boys room today and laid on their bed looking up at it in awe. It was a mixture of feelings--a realization of what we have ahead and immense gratitude for the kind of love from a stanger that went into that. Thanks!


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