Freaks Me Out

Hanging out in that infusion room is starting to freak me out.  My already anxious mind is even more anxious when I talk to all these people who have such horrible cancer stories to tell!  I'm beginning to think I am going to go see a surgeon and just have him take out all the parts I don't need anymore!  I'm serious!

Today, we met a lady who is 88 years old.  Today was her first day of chemo for Ovarian cancer!  Ovarian cancer at 88!!!  I didn't ask but I'm pretty sure she didn't see that coming!  Her daughter was telling me that she has a tumor on her ovaries the size of a volleyball.  This elderly lady was such a tiny thing; tiny frame and so thin except for this ball protruding from her abdomen.  She is the 4th or 5th woman I've met there that has ovarian cancer and all of them are way past child bearing years and menopause.  Those ovaries were just sitting there doing nothing and now they are infested with cancer that has spread throughout her other organs and at 88 has a quite a fight on her hands.  Makes me so sad, you have no idea!

It's not worth it to me.  I have had enough scares in my life, I am done messing around!  I'm all about prevention.  I had to have a hysterectomy when I was only 35 years old because of all sorts of problems and complicating issues.  They left my ovaries but as soon as I am done with those, as in menopause comes and goes, I am getting them yanked out! What else could I do without.....hmmmmm.  Ovarian cancer seems like the worst because there are very few signs and symptoms to alert you and by the time you do find out, it has already gone too far.  There aren't good screenings either to watch for ovarian cancer to start.  Blech...

I guess there's no point in worrying about what may come in the future but still, it's hard when you see so many people suffering every week.  I was not cut out for this world, I'm way too sensitive and wish I could make it all better for EVERYONE!!! I hate suffering!  I pray my new friend will be a tough soldier and live to see her 100th birthday.

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