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Showing posts from May, 2016

Heavenly encounters

It is always amazing to me how Heaven, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, lines people up just right so their paths cross.

Friday night, as we were leaving the graduation ceremony, I ran into the wife of our favorite family doctor.  She is such a great lady and we had just a minute or two to catch up!  I don't know how it happens, but many times, I become good friends with the family of our doctor...I really can't say for sure how it happens but I'm so glad it does.

At the graduation party, I saw our doctor!  The husband of the woman I saw after the ceremony. He was there as a chaperon.   We saw each other across the room almost at the same time and immediately rushed to see each other.  He was by far, the best doctor we have ever had.  Sadly, after just a few years of being our family practitioner, he closed his practice to do ER medicine and then became part of the University Medical Clinic so he just sees students now.

He was so surprised to see me and relate…

This chapter ends

Graduation has come and gone.  It was an emotional night for me...It was happy and surprising and touching and thought provoking and amazing.  From the moment the graduated walked in to the auditorium, I had a lump in my throat.

The speakers were great but I was really impressed with the Valedictorian.  I think he gave a talk that everyone in the room could relate to and I appreciated his words a great deal.  Without a doubt, this was a highly intelligent graduating class.  Three of the 308 graduates were graduating with an Associates Degree as well.  A huge percentage were graduating with honors and highest honors, in fact, I think every single one of the Sam's friends were in the honorable society which was awesome to see.

As we were making our way through the throngs of people to find Sam afterwards, I ran into one of his Special Ed Teachers, Mrs. W.  She told me that she had just had a 'moment' with Sam and she had told him how proud she was of him.  In response, Sam …

Graduation is almost here!

This post is all about pictures of Sam!  Shelbie did an amazing Senior Photo Shoot for Sam.  I'm pretty lucky to have such a talented daughter and a handsome boy inside and out!  So proud of him for working hard to get his difficult work load at school completed in time!  It was touch and go and we had some late, late nights but it was worth it.

Love this kid to pieces!

It's just a phase...I thought

The struggle is real.

In case you thought I was just joking about my mid life unraveling...I'm not.

I thought the struggle I have found myself in this year was just a phase.  Of course the things we have gone through with Shelbie were disturbing at best, rocked my foundation a bit and the open ended problems with cancer still looming as a possibility and another scan just over a month away.  I watch her struggle to find her footing again.  I watch her liver enzymes rising steadily.  I watch her try to manage her ever growing kidney pain.  I do nothing and it's hard to just do nothing.  But to the world, she smiles.  And I smile.  And the boys smile and we do our best to muddle through.

What I am starting to realize, is that this may not be a phase but isn't that what we always wish when we go through something hard? Most of the time it is, just a phase.  The hard thing passes...painfully albeit, but it passes.  Now, let me acknowledge that I know I don't have a corne…

Life's little orchestra

Let me start this post by saying, it's not's me.

Last night was Seminary graduation for Sam.  First of all, I feel like a fraud posting this picture because technically, he has a few more packets of home study to complete but the powers that be said it wasn't a big deal and he could walk with his group.

Anyways, Shelbie and I arrived a little early and a quartet of stringed instruments and their owners were practicing for the musical number.  I felt a little resentful.  It seems like it's always the same kids at every event.  The most musical, the most intelligent, the most refined, the most disciplined, the most athletic and then there's us.  We're like the little smudge on society, the wrinkled shirt, the cowlick that never stays in place...I looked at the program and they had forgotten to print Sam's name with his ward.

So, in line with my mood, I pointed it out to Shelbie and said, "Figures.  They forget my kid on the program.  Oh well, I…

The Lady in the Van

A few weeks ago, I saw a movie at the cheap seats called The Lady In The Van.  It was one of those movies that I was only slightly interested in, so on one lonely weekend, I went to hideout by myself.  I didn't think it would be a big draw against the other big titles showing.  I was pretty much right.  It's not a movie I can really recommend but it had a good story if you're into the psychological kind of thing.

It reminded me so much of my own life.  I have a good friend who has been homeless all of her adult life.  She is my Lady in the Van.  She is nearly in her 80's and if you've been reading the blog very long, you might have heard me talk about her.  I really care about her.  Just over a year ago, we found her a little apartment and she has been pretty stable for nearly a year and a half.

I am ashamed to admit I haven't seen her since Shelbie had all her health issues this year.  A few days before mother's day, I ran into May at the grocery store.  …

Making the mistake of waking up

Yesterday was Shelbie's transfusion and things went alright.  It is becoming an annoying thing, sort of, and my house is turning into a clinic I feel.

I made the mistake of actually waking up yesterday AND getting out of bed.  About 3 am, I was in the most impressive, achy pain from my shoulder down to my ankles. I woke myself up with my own moans of pain. I was so tired, I tried to ignore it until 6 and then got up. I could hardly walk.  My hips and knees were creating so much pain for me.  It took me twice as long to get showered and dressed and by 8 am I thought I might rather die.

I put on my big girl panties and downed a handful of vitamins including my new favorite, Vitamin Ibuprofen then attempted to not let anyone know I was miserable.  That plan worked out pretty good until about 4 when the nurse left and by 6:30 I caved and went to my neighborhood urgent care.

At first the doctor thought it was bursitis in my knee but then he started asking probing questions to which I h…

Be Nice

Have you ever thought that we have failed our children by teaching them to be nice?  Or..failed ourselves?

How many times do we say to our children, 'Be nice!" ?  Even when being nice may not have been the appropriate thing to be.  Countless moments come to mind.  When they were little, we would venture off to play dates and my kids were most always the passive kids.  They had their moments but they weren't the ones climbing to dangerous heights, emptying the kitchen cabinets, taking off their diaper and a few other difficult play date encounters.

Many times, I saw my kids get scolded by other parents for 'not being nice' when clearly, their kid started a hitting match with mine. Always...I would chime in, "Yes, be nice please." and depending on their age, shoot them the know that look all moms have when it's our own agenda of pleasing our friends that matters most.

I fed my kids a steady diet of Be nice-es...

Just be nice
Let it go


The idea of sunsets comes to mind with the writing of this post.

We see beautiful sunsets in this neck of the woods.  Absolutely beautiful, full of vibrant colors.  Sometimes, they are breathtaking.  I always look a sunset with pure wonder. I never worry that it's the last sunset I will ever see in my life.  I never look at with a critical eye thinking God could have really used a little more burnt orange or deep purple.  I don't complain that it didn't last long enough.

Life this weekend reminded me of sunsets.  Somehow, I feel like I am watching the sun set on my life, my family.  The only difference is, I am watching the beauty of my kids unfold but I worry that this will be my last sunset.  I wonder why it can't last longer.  Having teenagers has been my favorite stage of life.  I adore teenagers.  I adore my teenagers.  I didn't have them young for long enough.  On goes my complaining.

I remember well, the early morning feedings, up all night...before the sun…

18 Years later...

It's official, my baby is 18!  It's cliche and all...but how in the world?  I thought I was still 18...aren't I?  I mean, most days I feel 18, sort of, if I use my imagination a little...a lot.  

I often worried about the kind of teenager Sam would be.  He had some pretty rough years from ages 6-11.  I don't know what was going on with him but he somehow thought that anytime I did something that he didn't like, he called 911 on me.  One night, I made sesame chicken but he wanted ramen.  I told him we weren't having Ramen.  He through a massive fit and ran into my bedroom and called 911.  Shelbie and Spencer realized before me what he was doing and tackled him to the ground.  So, of course, hell hath no fury like two siblings ganging up on one, which alerted the dispatcher.  When she was cut off...she promptly called back to see what the commotion was about.  I answered while the kids were still wrestling and crying and yelling.  It was pretty much a zoo.

I sa…