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Showing posts from June, 2016

Is this real life?

It's been an interesting couple of days...of course.  When is it not interesting around here?

Where to start...

Well, for starters, Spencer is moving home this week!  Yay!  I'm excited but sad too.  I'm always happy to have him home but the circumstances aren't favorable.  He was evicted from his place in Utah.  Apparently, it is the law in Provo that only three single people can live in a rental house.  He was the fourth guy and the last to sign a contract so he was evicted.

It is really such a strange twist of events.  It's a college town and you know the majority of apartments and homes down there are crammed with a lot more than just 3 students.  Someone must have turned them in because it just seems like such an unlikely thing to happen.  What are the odds?  I just shake my head and wonder why.   He had to give notice on his brand new job and now he is jobless again and will have to find work here.  He is in another contract for housing, starting in September…

Emmaus

This image and thought has been on my mind this week.  It's just been a tough week.  There are the obvious things that make it hard lately but there are host of problems that aren't at all visible to the passerby. At any rate, it's been a struggle.

So the story of Emmaus goes...

Three days after the Savior's death, two of His disciples walked the dusty road from Jerusalem to Emmaus. As they spoke, they were joined by a traveler who asked about their conversation. The disciples replied, "Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem...they have crucified [Jesus]. But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel."
Then the stranger said, "Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory?" He then opened the scriptures to them, showing how all of the prophets had testified that Christ would be crucified and rise on the third day. As night fell the disciples asked the traveler to join them for a meal. Sitting toget…

Emmaus

This image and thought has been on my mind this week.  It's just been a tough week.  There are the obvious things that make it hard lately but there are host of problems that aren't at all visible to the passerby. At any rate, it's been a struggle.

So the story of Emmaus goes...

Three days after the Savior's death, two of His disciples walked the dusty road from Jerusalem to Emmaus. As they spoke, they were joined by a traveler who asked about their conversation. The disciples replied, "Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem...they have crucified [Jesus]. But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel."
Then the stranger said, "Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory?" He then opened the scriptures to them, showing how all of the prophets had testified that Christ would be crucified and rise on the third day. As night fell the disciples asked the traveler to join them for a meal. Sitting toget…

Happy Father's Day

I'm a lucky girl to have a great dad to honor today.   I wish I could have spent the day with my parents but that doesn't happen very often because of the miles that divide us.  But, I am remembering all the great things that make my dad awesome.


I remember every Christmas, my dad would make his traditional shortbread cookies.  I stand beside him and watch him bake away.  Now, every Christmas, I make the same recipe of shortbread.  The funny thing is, I don't even like shortbread.  I never ate one of those cookies and still never eat a shortbread cookie.  I just liked that I was spending time with my dad. 

We often had kitchen adventures.  One night, we wanted to try making sweet and sour sauce, or maybe it was teriyaki sauce.  Neither one of us had a clue what we were doing and when the sauce didn't seem to be getting thick, we added a little corn starch.  And then a little more.  I think we thought it was going to instantly thicken up.  Turns out it finally got thic…

Blessings in Disguise

This is what a blessing looks like...

A garage full of wet, musty, moldy, rotten, rusty nails, wood and sheetrock. 
Could you tell?   Ya, me neither!   To me it looks an awful lot like that wood was soaked with my salty tears as this project took on a life of its own!
Believe it or not...This picture is a blessing...

 And this one...by the way... the water is completely off!  A bad valve keeps me emptying this 5 gallon bucket twice a day despite the water being off.


 Here's another blessing! Blessings, blessings everywhere!! Mold behind the baseboards...


 I have more blessings than I can possibly handle!   Thank goodness I have a 72 hour kit just chock full of plastic tarp and duct tape! Saved me a trip to Walmart at midnight and a few bucks!   My whole upstairs looks like a scary lab with some particulate about to take over the world.


 A little Youtube tutoring paying off!  I feel the need to send all these men who post videos on how to fix things, a Father's Day card!  I co…

The plot thickens

Well, I had a contractor come over last night to take a look at the damages and give me some pointers on tearing out the sub floor down to the joists.  I know/thought I could do it but just needed some guidance.  I have found if I understand how something is built, I can totally figure out how to take it apart.   I just wasn't entirely sure which direction the floor joists were going and I needed him to tell me.

        So, I thought it would be pretty simple but nope.

        The toilet was never sealed.  It was never, ever, since the beginning of time, even touching the wax ring that seals the toilet to the drain.  The seal looks brand new! You can still see the imprint on the wax that it was made in China. This means that for 11 years...toilet water has been leaking freely into my floors.


        I am sick.  Sick beyond belief.  What a nightmare.  Clearly, this is beyond my skill level to accomplish what needs to be done. I have more time than I do money so I was ge…

Calling it quits

Argghhhh...my life!  I'm done!

I realize life is not meant to be easy.  I realize that we are here to be tested but seriously...there comes a point when enough is enough; a point when the trials are no longer educational...it becomes nothing more than just mustering up a little more shear grit to get through one more day.  It's about how long you can hang on the end of the proverbial rope by the tips of your broken and chewed off fingernails!
That's all.  That's all my life is about.  I'm to the point where I no longer expect anything good to come out of my existence here anymore.  There is no spark of hope to muster up.  No faith.  No inspiring thoughts.  No clever adage.  No pulling up your boot straps...the big girl panties are too big and keep falling down anyways...so really...I'm done.

Here's my white flag.

In case you're wondering...I had a little reckoning moment with God too. It wasn't pretty.  There was a lot of ugly crying going on.  …

Lots of work

It is interesting how much life can change and has changed in just a few weeks, perhaps it's just been days.





There is a different feeling in the house now that Sam has graduated.  Maybe it's just a shift in energy and now that I think about it, perhaps it's just me who has changed...is changing.

The point is not lost on me that I have to change my role as a mother;  I have to change the way we do things.  I can't expect or assume that dinner will be eaten as a family.  Now, we all have commitments and different expectations.

Curfews are a thing of the past, yet, my worry when I don't know when they are coming home or where they have been didn't seem to get the memo that things are different when you have adult children.

Family scripture study has to be revamped.

Family Home Evening isn't the same...that's been different all year actually.  As I look back on our life, it's the one thing I can say without a doubt, we succeeded in doing faithfully.  

On the horizon

I am finally coming back to the surface of life...slowly, after a debilitating round of steroids for Lupus.   People ask me what Lupus is and I really couldn't tell you.  I've only known I've had it for a year and I haven't read up on it.  I just know it makes you feel like your dead but still in pain.  A painful dead kind of thing.

And...I know that once you have been diagnosed with Lupus, no matter what you go to the doctor for after that...they will blame every single symptom or illness you have on Lupus.
      "I have migraines."    Yep, that's Lupus.
      "My left toes just fell off."  Yep, that's Lupus...you're having a flare.
      "I have this growth the size of a basketball growing from my elbow, is that normal?"  Yep, that's just Lupus flaring up.
      "I have this urge to bark like a dog when I walk past a fire hydrant."  Yep, that's your Lupus.  You must be flaring.
     "I sometimes have t…

Land of the free, home of the brave

This week, Sam had to renew his license and register for The Draft.  We are a little late, obviously, like a month late.  Each time we went, the line up was out the door and I didn't pack snacks and games and we hadn't allotted an entire afternoon to waiting around the DMV so we left.

However, since Sam really needs a fishing license and you can't get one with an expired driver's license, it became a more pressing matter. Yes, that's right...fishing is far more important than getting pulled over and having an expired license.  Fishing is more important than just about anything some times...apparently...even though we don't eat fish.  We don't like to touch fish and it's heartbreaking to watch a fish die. And...what's the deal with having to be a licensed driver in order to fish? What's that about?  According to Walmart, it's more than just a form of ID.  I guess they really want 'quality, responsible citizens with transportation' yan…

Happy Day

I'm so excited about tonight's post.  On Mother's day, the kids and I ran away to this very secluded place on the river.  We stumbled upon it actually and it was pretty perfect.  There was not a soul in sight and we just sat around talking and laughing and slacklining and playing in the water.

I have always had this little dream of video taping my life.  I love to document my life in video but my kids are never keen  on the idea.  I have a collection of half made videos.  When they asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day, I told them I wanted a video of them just being happy and having fun.

Spencer has been working on his video skills and he is getting really good!  I love to watch his videos so he brought along his GoPro and made the sweetest video for me!  He just sent the finished one to me tonight.

The quality here is poor because most of the clarity was lost in sending such a large file but I didn't want to wait until I got the DVD copy.  I really needed a s…

The Talk...

It seems at every major milestone or important birthday as they come of age, there's a 'talk' that must be had.  You know the kind of talk I'm referring to.  Sharing.

Just kidding...The birds and the bees for one.  Dating etiquette.  I have a list of 'Talks' that outlined rules of conduct for my kids.  My kids lovingly refer to these talks as Car Talk!  Yep, they know they are in for it if I announce a long drive with a Blizzard from Dairy Queen.  Nothing like food and the restraints of the seat belt to get your kids attention.  If any of our Car Talk topics came up at other times, they stop me and say...'NO, not now, that is Car Talk!' So, I would promptly load them in the car and stuff some cookies in their little gaping mouths.

Now, sometimes the talks were instigated from them.  That was usually when they had something to confess.  I could always tell what was coming by the size of knot in my stomach.  They never once offered me a snack to eat whi…

Sam returns!

The good news of the week is that Sam did in fact return from his camping trip!  Yay for little miracles.

They actually came back late Thursday night.  I was surprised to see him walk through the door.  I hardly recognized him though!  He ended up with 75 mosquito bites!  One eye was drooping and swollen and his whole face looked lumpy and bruised from all the welts.  He looked miserable despite all the bug repellent he used.  He said he also encountered 3 ticks.

Sam and his friends slept in a hammock stack as well.  It seems to be the favored way to sleep outside these days.  The hammocks they have are a thin nylon and they wrap up in it like a burrito.  I imagine it would be much more comfortable than sleeping on the ground or even on a foamy.



They ended up staying at a base camp and hiking without their packs during the day.  Sam said the hike up to the natural hot springs was beautiful but nearly killed him. He had to stop every hundred feet or so to catch his breath and try to …

Shoulds and Musts

Every month, I try to take an online class of some sort.  I don't really have an agenda, it's something I do so my mind doesn't get lost in medical drama, kid drama, world drama...just something small that challenges me.

This month, I am taking a class from Elle Luna over at Skillshare.  It's called Choose Must.  She is an artist who has written a book on finding your passion.  It has been a fascinating class and I wonder every day about my MUST.   While I dream of my must, Spencer lives his must.

My boys have always lived their must but Spencer especially, excels at it.  He grabs life by the horns, harnesses the energy of every minute and doesn't look back.  The month of May, he spent padding around the Pacific Northwest and Canada.  He was the brains behind this adventure and roped 7 other guys into the trip. So, with very few funds, a rented van and a duffle bag, he set out to follow his Must.


For three weeks, they slept under the stars in hammocks.  He had an …

The Brain Drain

Imagine what it would feel like to not understand time passing.  5 min, 5 hours, it's all the same. Imagine if a long weekend felt like an entire season of days or a whole summer felt like just a long weekend.  Imagine if every word you read had numbers mixed into it.  The letter 'S' became a 5...

There is a real problem that does just this...and this...

Difficulty reading an analog clock, differentiating left and right, inability to visualize mentally, estimating cost of things, difficulty estimating distance of something,  remembering math formulas, sequences, rules, concepts, inability to concentrate on mentally intensive tasks, retrieving long term memory...

The disorder is called Dyscalculia and it is a brain disorder and Sam has it.  He was born with it.  
Sometimes, it rules the days and weeks in our family and sometimes, we don't really notice it and Sam manages just fine... at least as far as I can tell.  We have worked every day to find ways around it. It'…