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Showing posts from March, 2018

Questionable Prayers

Sometimes the hardest part of blogging is coming up with the title. 

It's been a whirlwind of a week around here; difficult at best.

The short story is that my kidneys took a turn for the worst on Wednesday which sent me to the urgent care for the morning.  It has become evident that I can't fix this like I thought I would be able to.  I did, however, drop my cholesterol by 30 points and my blood pressure is way down.  I haven't seen it this low in over a year.   So, I am on Prednisone, the drug of the Devil until I can get in to the Nephrologist again and I know I won't be able to avoid a kidney biopsy. 

Of course, that means I will be waiting a full month before they can fit me in.  I also made an appointment to see my Rheumatologist to get my Lupus under control but that's a two week wait just to see the PA.  Then another two weeks with another visit with the PA and then another two weeks when you finally get to see the doctor who will then discuss the course o…

No Words

Sometimes, there are no words to describe what happens in our life from moment to moment.

We had an unexpected turn of events on Friday.  Huntsman Cancer Center called and their PET scanner has broken.  The parts to repair it are coming from Germany so the kid's PET scans have been postponed a couple of weeks. 

As soon as I got the call, I remembered how annoyed and upset I got when Sam's pacemaker surgery was postponed a week because of a scheduling glitch.  When I found out in that week's time that the pacemaker they were going to use in him was recalled, I was so glad that Heaven orchestrated that glitch for us.

So, I have handled this setback with a little more finesse.  One good thing is that they were able to get Shelbie and Spencer's scans rescheduled back to back, so that will save me one trip!  This morning, I got the results of a 24 hour urine test Spence had to do.  It checks for the protein that carcinoma cells can produce and it was negative.  This doesn&…

Fine Lines and Broad Strokes

Life is interesting and complex, difficult and rich. 
Life is a piece of art.
Life is made up of fine lines or broad strokes. 
Every decision we make, rests upon a fine line. Each choice rests upon the line we drew before. Within each decision, no matter how small,is a permutation of consequences and experiences; for good or for bad. Each one of these fine lines weaves together a beautiful life of rich detail, an embellishment of experiences and a depth of light and dark.  Like a finished portrait, we can see the extent of our mortality with all the joy and turmoil that makes it all so stunning, beautiful, necessary and revered.  In fact, along the way, the fine lines are the art of story...your story.  My story.  A story of defining moments, the whys that came from the whats...all the fine lines. 

But then, we experience the broad strokes of judgement and all the beauty, inherent in the fine lines, become smeared and blurred.  Detail is lost and gives way to assumptions.  That'…

Surgery next

Well, shocker...

Shelbie is going for hand surgery on April 6th.  One more thing to add to our list of appointments crashing in over the next two weeks. What a mess her finger is.  The hand surgeon isn't sure he can save her finger at this point since so much time has passed and it's been healing wrong since the break.

From the x-rays they took this morning, the bone at the top of her joint is teetering on the very edge of her joint below, not even remotely close to being lined up.  There has been such a deterioration in the cartilage as well.  On the x-ray, it looks pretty grim.  It's still red and swollen and he's concerned about that also.  In addition to the broken bone, he is concerned that the ligaments and tendons down her finger are twisted, stretched out and that is adding to the complicated situation.

The plan is to open up her finger, set and pin the bone back on top of the joint where it belongs and fix the ligaments.  If there isn't enough cartilage to…

The Power to Change

PET scans are scheduled for the kids.  I think this has been an act of God to get this pushed through insurance in just two business days.  I was hoping to get them on the same day but that won't happen, so, looks like I'll be making the pilgrimage to Salt Lake, 3 times over 7 days.  Ugh.  I have no words.  If I didn't have a nightly job to attend to, I would just camp out on Spencer's floor at his apartment but I will have to be home each night to work. 

PET scans are very specialized tests to begin with.  A radioactive sugar is injected into the veins and any cancer lights up "hot".  Spencer's PET scan is even more specialized and all of the area hospitals in Salt Lake share the amount of radioactive sugar prepared so the amount he needs for his test is limited.  It's all pretty interesting, albeit, terrifying as well.

Such is life...it's chronic. 

Anyways, this isn't what I wanted to talk about today. 

Yesterday at church, we discussed in o…

Famous Last Words

Too bad I have this bad habit of speaking too soon!  I wasn't too worried about our appointments this week...

I wasn't expecting any earth shattering news at Hematology/Oncology yesterday.  I knew we might be looking at some further testing for Shelbie but I thought the boys would sail through the appointment without incident.  The last bone marrow biopsy the kids had was the Fall of 2016.  We are suppose to do them yearly but considering 2017 was a shambles in other areas of their health, I didn't think it would hurt to hold off for a bit.  We've actually had one of the healthiest winters.  It's been at least 8 months since our last Pneumonia.

Sam passed all his tests with flying colors...well, flying colors as in, he's okay.  His counts are trending down from when we started with our Salt Lake Team three years ago.  His white count is only 2.3 which is pretty low but I have seen him lower.  The cells he does have, look good microscopically.  We have decided t…

Life

Life is happening fast around here, as usual.  It's been so nice having a week off from hospitals and doctors for the kids, but all good things must come to an end.  We start up again tomorrow with another trip South and Oncology Clinic.

Spencer has been working on finding his new normal and making plans for his new business venture.  He has decided to free lance as a Director of Production and Advertising.   Last Fall, before he got his job, he and a friend approached the Lexus dealership to ask if they could use a car to make an advertisement and if they liked the advertisement, they would offer them the finished video at a discount.    Spencer got his full time job shortly after and the Lexus video was put on hold.  Last week, he was able to finish it with all his extra time.  With his permission, I get to post it here! 

I'm so proud of him.  In just 18 months, through Salmonella, Heart Failure, Liver Problems, never ending GI troubles, he taught himself the art of video an…

Here's to the Women

I really wanted to post yesterday about International Women's Day but I was too busy being an amazing woman!  Ha ha.  Just kidding!  I was too busy doing what women do...taking care of my little corner of the world.

I have a few thoughts on women...


Here's to the women who dwell in their God given nature with confidence.Here's to the women who compliment the nature of men, who care gently and tenderly for them as they provide and protect their family. Here's to the women who do it alone.Here's to the women who choose to be better than bitter, when the men in their world cease to see the wonder in their woman. Here's to the women who are the first to rise and the last to retire.Here's to the women who patiently do the thankless, yet critical job of raising strong children, sick children, lost children, other people's children.Here's to the women who put everyone else first.Here's to the women who rise and fall but rise again.Here's to the wome…

Be Like Water

I went through this weird phase a long time ago, when I was into Chinese Philosophy.  So many things you didn't know about me!   I had several books on the subject, but my favorite was called I Ching, or in other words, 'The Book of Changes'.  There was a lot of wisdom in that little book.

Today, I came across another Chinese Philosphy book called Tao Te Ching.  There was the most beautiful passage of words...

  "The Supreme Goodness is like water. It benefits all things without contention.  In dwelling, it stays grounded.  In being, it flows to depths.  In expression, it is honest. In confrontation, it stays gentle. In governance, it does not control. In action, it aligns to timing. It is content with it's nature and therefore, cannot be faulted."

Wouldn't our lives be so much better and peaceful if we could live like water, without contention, staying grounded, honest, gentle...Sounds an awful lot like charity.

 I find myself these days in a quandary wit…

More Sundays Please

As I wrapped up another 10 hour work day on Saturday, I was so grateful for Saturdays but then came Sunday.  I don't think I could live without Sundays.  We need more of them if you ask me. 

I try to guard my time carefully on Sundays.  I try to do more for my family than I'm able to do on other days of the week but just as important, it seems to be a good time to clear out my head some...take a deep breath and prepare for another taxing week.  Today, I had all my nieces and nephews over for dinner and games.  I love it when my house is filled with family. 
But anyways...today my thoughts have been on Hope.  I can't seem to hold on to hope very well and I'm not sure why.  Once I do grab it, it suddenly slips from my hands.  
In my pondering and wanderings today, I found a book, quite by accident, by Vaclav Havel- Breaking the Peace.  Vaclav was the first President of Czech Republic.  He spoke some on hope, and I love his definition.  He says, "Hope is not the expe…

Chickens, Baby Dolls and Keith

I've had some things on my mind the past few weeks. 

It all started when I read an article about a nursing home that is trying to combat loneliness, depression and anxiety in elderly people by giving them a chicken to take care of.  Who knew, but apparently chickens running around the nursing home is just what the doctor ordered.  It gives the elderly residents something to do; meaning and purpose in their life and they aren't lonely anymore because they have their chicken friends. 

This is a real story.  I've owned chickens before. In fact, ironically, Shelbie was lonely one Easter season and thought getting a chick was the answer to her loneliness as well.  It wasn't...just for the record.  The chicken became lonely too so she bought the hen, a duck.  The duck and chicken were the best of friends until the duck flew away and the chicken went into a deep depression. We ended up parting ways with the chicken.  I think she went to a lovely family that enjoyed her that …