Where to start

Today started out horribly, the middle, thanks to a lot of pain meds was ok and tonight...well, it totally sucked!  
     Last night, the crazy side effects of the stupid steroids were still really bad.  This morning, her entire body felt like one great big bruise.  She could hardly walk and couldn't even stand to have clothes touching her body.  I loaded her up with meds to try to get the pain under control.  We had planned to meet some out of town friends for lunch and Shelbie was able to make that appointment but as soon as we got home, she started getting a bad headache and rest of the pain got worse.  I gave her more pain meds but then a fever started!  Geeshhh! 
     Finally at about 9pm, I decided to take her up to the ER for evaluation.  It took forever and they ran all sorts of tests to determine the cause of all these weird symptoms.  It has been decided that the dose of steroids she was on was just way too strong for her body.  There is nothing they can do about what is happening now, she will just have to wait until it works out of her system which could take a couple more days. 
     On a good note, her platelets came up to 70!  We haven't seen a count like that for a couple of months.  On a bad note, there is something funky going on with her liver enzymes, blood calcium levels and low potassium.  We will have to wait until monday to find out what these new crappy developments mean. 
     This is killing me to watch my daughter go through this day in and day out.  Our Bishop came up to the ER tonight to see how things were going.  Shelbie and I were in our usual mood of making stupid jokes and laughing at nothing.  The Bishop joined in and we were enjoying the way we passed time.  I'm not sure how it all started but Shelbie was saying that she tries to always look happy and pulled together when she leaves the house so that people don't feel sad for her and the situation she is in.  She doesn't want anyone to be worried and scared.  It was a sobering moment and I will admit, a few tears escaped but I am really proud of her for trying to be so strong. 
      We are home now.  Shelbie said, "I am really worried so I think I will laugh...I've done enough crying and that doesn't help."  So, we are laying here, too tired to get to our beds and laughing at things that aren't even funny.  In between laughs she moans and groans in pain because any movement hurts.  There are so many incongruencies tonight between how we feel and how we are acting, it's a little surreal and actually, not funny at all...if you think about it.


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