It's one thing...

      It's one thing to have to be a single mom, the 'gorilla glue' trying to keep everyone safe, healthy and mentally intact.  It's one thing to have to deal with unemployment.  It stinks and is taxing on your check book and your self esteem.  It's one thing to have your own degenerative disease that causes daily pain and fatigue.  It's one thing to have three children with the most annoying genetic problems ever!  Someone is sick or not feeling well every single day of every single week.  Someone is always questioning their existence, their safety and well being.  It can make you crazy.  It's one thing to have three teenagers, one at the prime age when the brain is stuck and the only thing that matters in the world is playing with obnoxious friends and they hate their family, and they remind you daily of how much they hate their family.  It's one thing to have a child so sick, chemo is the last resort. 

Unfortunately, it is not my luxury to be able to deal with just one thing anymore.  It's hard for me to remember when life was this hectic, well, not that hard to remember, it happens quite frequently but the difference is, there is usually a short break, a respite in between the crazy times.  There just hasn't been a break in months, going on years. 

Yesterday was a hard day!  I feel like I am stuck in a smokey haze with an undertow of fatigue.  I'm having a hard time keeping up on this treadmill of life.  I keep looking for an exit sign, I am ready to move on but alas, I know there is a reason for this rhyme and a method behind the madness so I will just keep on keepin on.  Sometimes though, I just wish it was one thing.


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