Upside Down and Inside Out

Tonight's news is not good, neither is it sideways.  It is upside down, inside out and just plain bad!  Shelbie has gotten into big trouble tonight.  She began bleeding under her skin and gums around 3:30 this afternoon.  Tonight, I took her up to the hospital.  I figured we would do the lab work first and if it was bad then we would check into the ER.  So, here we are in a nice room with a big window overlooking mechanical equipment and drifts of snow with a parking lot below!  Yup, she was admitted.  Her platelets were only at 5!  The bleeding got worse and this is really our first experience with that!  Her hemoglobin is dropping like a rock because of the blood loss.  I really wasn't sure what to expect.  I sort of thought they would send us home until Monday when the Doctor's office is open. 
      It took quite some time to get all the meds checked in, IV started and then pre med.  They started the IVIG infusion about an hour ago.  The nurses are great here!  I am really happy with everything so far.  They have been much more informative than what we have experienced in Short Stay, though those nurses were super nice too.  Last week, Shelbie had a hard time breathing at one point and couldn't stop coughing.  The nurses at the time had no idea what to do and didn't know what was causing the weird symptoms.  Tonight, they brought in a consent form to receive blood products and it listed all the possible side effects.   Coughing and difficulty breathing were on the top of the list for less common problems.  Good to know! 
     They also started her on a new drug that stops bleeding in emergency situations like we find ourselves in.  The only drawback is she had to take 12 pills all at once and will take another 12 in 6 hours.  So far, she is stable, physically at least.
     Emotionally, it has been a hard two weeks.  She is still really scared even though she is in the hospital and her nurse is checking on her every 15 min and is sitting literally at her door with a portable computer.  She has refused to sleep until just a few minutes ago.  I assured her that I would stay up to watch her and the nurse would continue to be attentive.  I can't imagine how she feels to be going through this.  She also wanted to leave the light on in the room and the tv going.  I'm sure the nurse thinks I am the one who wants the tv going and the lights on!
       I have lots of thoughts tonight as I sit here.  Trying really hard to not let fear take over my thoughts.  Fear of what the outcome of this will be and fear for the boys.  Sam is not doing well tonight and Spencer is up in the mountains with a friend's family snowmobiling.  I just pray that he doesn't get buried in an avalanche or something horrific like that.  He promised he would ride "gently" so he doesn't re injure his back.  Ughhhh! Our luck doesn't seem the greatest lately and we tend to have one problem on top of another!
      Once Shelbie was settled in her room, I had to run home to get all her meds and some other things. When I got in the car, the song Consider The Lilies was playing on the radio.  I love that song but love the last verse most of all....
"Consider the sweet, tender children
Who must suffer on this earth...
The pains of all of them he carried
From the day of his birth.
He clothes the lilies of the field,
He feeds the lambs in His fold,
And he will heal those who trust him,
And make their hearts as gold."
       Tomorrow morning our doctor will be here.  I know there will be some hard decisions to make.  I don't know what to do but God does know what will be best for His daughter.  I hope I am able to trust the answers that come. 



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