Sometimes... I get it.

I try, I really do try to maintain a positive attitude, to make the best of what we have to work with in this life.  Sometimes, it's just a white knuckle ride and all I can do, after I have done everything else to find peace is just hold on and wait for the light to come.  The last few weeks has honestly been a situation of just holding on until the sun comes up. 

Sometimes though, I get it.  I have a moment of clarity and understand why I have been given the trials I have, what I'm suppose to be learning from them and that seems to get me through the harder times that can feel so dark and overwhelming. 

Tonight, it became more clear to me what I have learned and how that knowledge can work not only for my good but the good of others.  A dear, friend of mine is laying in a hospital bed tonight with what the Doctor is saying, "Could turn out to be a pretty bad thing."  He's referring to things like Lymphoma, Bone Marrow Cancer, Stomach Cancer or any other varieties of cancer.  My friend is an older single woman, no family in the area and has never been married so there are no kids to be by her side.  As soon as I got word that she had been taken to the hospital, I went up to see how I could help. 

They were preparing her for a blood transfusion tonight and bone marrow biopsy tomorrow.  She was worried about her blood counts and what they could mean and concerned about her procedure tomorrow.  I was able to go over her blood tests with her and explain the function of each blood line and also share some insights on her bone marrow biopsy tomorrow.  Ya know, help her with some things to alleviate the anxiety beforehand and the pain afterwards.

As difficult as our life has been, I was so grateful tonight for the knowledge I have gained, that I was able to be with my friend for a few hours to make sure she was comfortable and taken care of.  I was grateful to my kids who could understand what she must be going through and were patient as I was gone from them for so long tonight so that I could help her.  I am grateful for the energy I had today...here it is after midnight and I have two more loads of laundry to finish before morning and while I could be grumpy about it, I am glad that I spent my time in better ways, serving my friend, coming home to serve my kids and learning more about why I have been given the trials I have.  It's always a good day when you can feel like you really made a difference to someone else.
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