Pillar of Strength

I believe it was Hugh ONeil in his book A Man Called Daddy who said that often when the storms of life come, we want to be a pillar of strength but sometimes buoys are better.

This thought has come to mind a lot this week as I have felt more intensely, the erroding storms of Shwachmans.  I wanted to be a pillar of strength this week just like I always have been but I think I have finally come to realize that buoys really are better at sustaining life, at least my own life. 

Being a pillar of strength is admirable.  A pillar looks strong and supportive yet we never see what is happening below the surface of the swirling water and before you know it, that pillar begins to topple.  Buoys on the other hand, they just bob along, not trying to withstand the waves but going along with them just above the surface.  They never get swept under like a crashing pillar would do when it's foundation of strength is erroded away. Buoys ride out the storm, they are constant and can carry a weight, supporting way more than it appears possible. 

I really think I want to be a buoy.  Pillars of strength can be all too confusing.  How can one maintain such a rigid posture when churning chaos is all around?  Only Superman could manage a task like that.  I am no Super hero, just a mom trying to do my best to keep my kids as healthy as possible. There are times when I dip below the crashing waves for a minute or two until I find my footing again and that's no fun, let me tell you!  So, ya, buoys are where it's at, hold on tight and ride it out. 

Sometimes, I just wonder how in the world we got to this place of chronic illness... it's just so chronic!