The Day After
A day later, we have managed to keep breathing...figuratively and literally.
Things feel better today, in a odd sort of way. Shelbie has been in a pretty decent mood all day. I asked her how she managed that and she said she just feels numb. Sometimes, numb is okay. I'm a little grateful for the week we have to let the reality settle in. I am the kind of person who needs pondering time in order to make sense of it all.
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." Mary Tyler Moore
I have had so many opportunities to practice being brave and I never seem to pull that off very well. This morning, I rededicated myself to the idea of bravery. The more I thought about what that meant, it really only boils down to one thing...trusting in Heavenly Father; being brave enough to just let go of how you insist life should be and accept what is. There isn't a huge laundry list of line items that require bravery and courage, just one simple item...
Put your hope, your courage, your faith, your bravery, your kids, yourself...everything in the hands of God and leave it there. (Leaving it there takes strength)
I don't know why I can't just do that as easily as it sounds. He has seriously done nothing to deserve such mistrust but half the time, I treat him like an irresponsible pre-teen who we expect to mess up. When you think of God in this way, it's ridiculous that any of us struggle, with anything!
Anyways, I don't want to dwell on the idea too much because surely, a huge test is going to land in my lap this week to see if I really mean what I say so I need to keep this enlightening moment on the DL!!
So, we have some great things to look forward to over the next few days.
I have this amazing client right now and he has entrusted me to several projects he has going. He drove me up to the site of his new cabin earlier this week and it was breathtaking. While they wait to get the cabin built, he has made a bunkhouse out of a shipping container!! He was kind enough to let me look around and it was like Heaven!! My dream of all dreams is to live in a shipping container. I seriously can't think of a better home. When I was talking to Spencer later that same evening, I told him how excited I was to see it in person. We got to scheming and talking and planning. He is running with my idea and maybe it actually could be a reality!! So, that's kind of exciting to plan out a home with him.
Sam gets home from Oregon this weekend. I miss that kid. He's been visiting his girlfriend's family. On Monday night, he texted me at 3A.M. and said, "Hey mom, I'm just laying here thinking about life. I was thinking about you. I know how nervous you were to let me go on this trip. You always let me do things even tho they stress you out. Anyways, I'm sorry it's late. I love you even though I don't tell you enough." I am looking forward to having him home for just a few more weeks before he moves out to an apartment with his friends on campus. I so appreciated his sweet text message.
Monday is Shelbie's birthday!! I try to give my kids an experience for their birthday instead of stuff. Shelbie's bedroom has been kind of an outdated design from her late teens. I am helping her with a bedroom makeover, so this weekend, we are going to paint her walls. We ordered a wallpaper mural and while we were in Utah found some bedside tables, new bedding and I'm going to make her a headboard and actually buy a bed frame so she doesn't have to sleep on the floor anymore!! (No comments on that)
We have a lot to look forward to and that is the general direction I think we are going over the next couple of days.
Things feel better today, in a odd sort of way. Shelbie has been in a pretty decent mood all day. I asked her how she managed that and she said she just feels numb. Sometimes, numb is okay. I'm a little grateful for the week we have to let the reality settle in. I am the kind of person who needs pondering time in order to make sense of it all.
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." Mary Tyler Moore
I have had so many opportunities to practice being brave and I never seem to pull that off very well. This morning, I rededicated myself to the idea of bravery. The more I thought about what that meant, it really only boils down to one thing...trusting in Heavenly Father; being brave enough to just let go of how you insist life should be and accept what is. There isn't a huge laundry list of line items that require bravery and courage, just one simple item...
Put your hope, your courage, your faith, your bravery, your kids, yourself...everything in the hands of God and leave it there. (Leaving it there takes strength)
I don't know why I can't just do that as easily as it sounds. He has seriously done nothing to deserve such mistrust but half the time, I treat him like an irresponsible pre-teen who we expect to mess up. When you think of God in this way, it's ridiculous that any of us struggle, with anything!
Anyways, I don't want to dwell on the idea too much because surely, a huge test is going to land in my lap this week to see if I really mean what I say so I need to keep this enlightening moment on the DL!!
So, we have some great things to look forward to over the next few days.
I have this amazing client right now and he has entrusted me to several projects he has going. He drove me up to the site of his new cabin earlier this week and it was breathtaking. While they wait to get the cabin built, he has made a bunkhouse out of a shipping container!! He was kind enough to let me look around and it was like Heaven!! My dream of all dreams is to live in a shipping container. I seriously can't think of a better home. When I was talking to Spencer later that same evening, I told him how excited I was to see it in person. We got to scheming and talking and planning. He is running with my idea and maybe it actually could be a reality!! So, that's kind of exciting to plan out a home with him.
Sam gets home from Oregon this weekend. I miss that kid. He's been visiting his girlfriend's family. On Monday night, he texted me at 3A.M. and said, "Hey mom, I'm just laying here thinking about life. I was thinking about you. I know how nervous you were to let me go on this trip. You always let me do things even tho they stress you out. Anyways, I'm sorry it's late. I love you even though I don't tell you enough." I am looking forward to having him home for just a few more weeks before he moves out to an apartment with his friends on campus. I so appreciated his sweet text message.
Monday is Shelbie's birthday!! I try to give my kids an experience for their birthday instead of stuff. Shelbie's bedroom has been kind of an outdated design from her late teens. I am helping her with a bedroom makeover, so this weekend, we are going to paint her walls. We ordered a wallpaper mural and while we were in Utah found some bedside tables, new bedding and I'm going to make her a headboard and actually buy a bed frame so she doesn't have to sleep on the floor anymore!! (No comments on that)
We have a lot to look forward to and that is the general direction I think we are going over the next couple of days.
Room makeovers are pretty refreshing and invigorating at the same time. And, T tried to get me to live in a shipping container or a shed the summer we would be building our house. We almost did it, and then we chickened out. We wish we had done it. :)
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