Adrenaline Drain
I'm feeling the effects of adrenaline drain. It always come after a stressful week.
Shelbie's been stable and even improving from a physical point of view. Mentally, she's not in a good place. I walk a fine line between trying to plan enough in a day to keep her mind occupied and letting her feel the fear. I know that sounds weird but I'm learning that we have spent way too much time trying to run and hide from our truths. Sometimes, we need to sit and stew. It's when we sit and stew in the uncomfortable feelings that we realize what we are made of. I want her to find her strength again, on her own. So, this week, I will stand by and cheer her own as she tries to wrap her mind around the situation she faces.
Things did get pretty rough earlier this evening so I made her go for a drive with me. It helps if she can get everything out of her head...everything!! We wandered around the country roads, talking, watching the early sunset and ran into some albino buffalo and elk.
Upon returning home, we had to start plasma transfusions for Sam and Shelbie. Over the past 6 weeks, since Sam had to start this treatment, we haven't been able to co-ordinate the schedule enough to do it at the same time but tonight the stars aligned. It hit me that this is a forever thing for these kids. Every week, they will have to infuse fresh new plasma in order to survive.
It's odd to me how things that we have known for some time, all of a sudden seem brand new and overwhelming all over again. Tonight was just one of those nights. It seemed extra hard to keep each dose straight and not get them mixed up. I'm trying to get them to take a more active role in this because I won't be around forever and I need them to know how to do this, but they aren't interested. It is kind of tough to place two needles through your own stomach.
Not much to report today. This week, we have a break from Salt Lake but not from hospitals. I'll be in Physical Therapy nearly every day, meeting with my hand surgeon again, hoping to avoid another surgery and getting the long awaited CT scan on my crippled kidney.
Shelbie's been stable and even improving from a physical point of view. Mentally, she's not in a good place. I walk a fine line between trying to plan enough in a day to keep her mind occupied and letting her feel the fear. I know that sounds weird but I'm learning that we have spent way too much time trying to run and hide from our truths. Sometimes, we need to sit and stew. It's when we sit and stew in the uncomfortable feelings that we realize what we are made of. I want her to find her strength again, on her own. So, this week, I will stand by and cheer her own as she tries to wrap her mind around the situation she faces.
Things did get pretty rough earlier this evening so I made her go for a drive with me. It helps if she can get everything out of her head...everything!! We wandered around the country roads, talking, watching the early sunset and ran into some albino buffalo and elk.
Upon returning home, we had to start plasma transfusions for Sam and Shelbie. Over the past 6 weeks, since Sam had to start this treatment, we haven't been able to co-ordinate the schedule enough to do it at the same time but tonight the stars aligned. It hit me that this is a forever thing for these kids. Every week, they will have to infuse fresh new plasma in order to survive.
It's odd to me how things that we have known for some time, all of a sudden seem brand new and overwhelming all over again. Tonight was just one of those nights. It seemed extra hard to keep each dose straight and not get them mixed up. I'm trying to get them to take a more active role in this because I won't be around forever and I need them to know how to do this, but they aren't interested. It is kind of tough to place two needles through your own stomach.
Not much to report today. This week, we have a break from Salt Lake but not from hospitals. I'll be in Physical Therapy nearly every day, meeting with my hand surgeon again, hoping to avoid another surgery and getting the long awaited CT scan on my crippled kidney.
Yesterday we had a lesson about Job. I know we have all heard the story a hundred times. What stuck out to me was, he was a good faithful man. His friends tried to convince him that he did something to offend God. He knew in his heart he was in good standing with God and continued to love and honor him. In trials it would be so easy to give up and blame him. You my friend, I shall nic name Job. I love your example of loving God no matter what.
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