Another PET

We made it through the PET scan yesterday. It was not easy for Shelbie. We worked so hard all week to keep our heads in a good place and not panic or worry.   I guess at some point, you have to face the reality of the situation.  PET scans sort of ensure that that happens naturally.

I'm not sure what's harder, watching Shelbie struggle and suffer with all of this or worrying about what is coming.  So, I'm back to the great internal struggle of life...My head knows that we are in a serious situation.  My heart should know that God has got this covered but knowing, feeling and doing, all seem to have their own agenda.  It is taking a lot of energy and effort to stay in a place of faith, not fear.  All of these feelings have wrestled one another through one long night, under a dark sky, with just enough light from the moon. 

I was actually doing pretty good yesterday.  I really felt stable and reassured, even when Shelbie bounced between anger, fear and sadness.  I had to field a lot of calls yesterday to get all the Pre-op stuff done so that helped to keep my head in a productive state. 

Surgery is scheduled for Monday morning at 7:30 AM.  Insurance has denied an overnight stay which is irritating.  I discussed with the nurse, and she reviewed the complications from surgery two years ago and the fact that less than 24 hours afterwards, Shelbie was admitted to the hospital here at home for a week and then transferred to Huntsman for another week.  In light of all of that, they have asked if we would stay at the University of Utah Hospital Guest House for two days so they can monitor her in case she has to be readmitted.  I guess that's what we will plan on.

Tuesday, we meet with the Pulmonologist to find out if they will be starting Shelbie on medication for her deteriorating lungs, or supplemental oxygen.

Driving home last night was awful!! Between all the fires in the area and a massive wind storm, this is what we faced for a lot of the way.  I was weary by the time we got home just before 11:00 last night.

 Today is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated.  I just have so much to do in order to be ready for next week.

Spencer threw a wrench in my mental state.  Last month, when he was in the 11th hour for looking for a job, he was asked to do a project with a large production company but they said they couldn't pay him.  He volunteered and they loved him.  They started him out as a Gaffer, then moved him to pull focus for the cameraman.  That job requires that you anticipate where the cameraman is going and make sure you are constantly focusing the shot on a computer connected to the camera.  It's all beyond my realm of understanding.

Anyways, they were so happy with him they gave his name to another producer who then had him pull focus for a film about suicide and mental illness that will debut at the Sundance Film Festival this Fall.  They too were extremely happy with his work.  Since both of those volunteer projects, both companies have offered him paid projects.

Two days ago, the first company called and asked if Spencer would be the Director of Productions for a 3 week project on the West Coast of Mexico.  He will be shooting for the surfing and motorcycle company called Deus out of Australia.  For 3 weeks, they will be road tripping from LA down the Mexican coast with a production team of 30 people and Spencer will be the main camera man and director of the entire production.   This will be an all expense paid trip but a small payment.

I'm excited for this opportunity for Spencer.  He has definitely worked hard and deserves this break.  The only problem is, his contract runs out on his apartment September 1.  His new apartment won't be ready to move into until next week but Spencer will be gone from Monday until the second week in September.  He has today only, to move out and clean the apartment.  And...there's the little problem that Spencer has C-Diff again!! He has been so sick for two weeks.  There's no way not going to Mexico is an option so, once again, my mamma heart is a little worried.  He says the company is taking care of travel insurance but who knows.

The next few days will require a great amount of faith and trust as we do some really hard things.

But, today.  We need to get through today first.  I am waiting anxiously for the PET results.