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Spiritual Confidence

Here's something funny...

Tonight, I opened a weeks worth of mail and guess what?  There was a letter from my insurance company saying that they are raising my rates by $150 or something crazy. is the irony.  Starting in 2016, if you have to go to an emergency room out of network and need to be admitted, they will cover it as if the facility was in network!!!

God works in mysterious ways!

I am still a little miffed about our whole experience here at home.  I have been praying to try to understand why Heavenly Father would direct us back here only to discover that we had absolutely no medical support.  It's been completely bizarre and has made no sense at all.

I was thinking about the message I received a few days ago about praying for wisdom and understanding.  I thought about the quote I saw in the elevator the day I went to get Spencer, about wisdom, "Wisdom is the power to judge rightly, following the soundest course of action based on knowledge, experience and thinking."

As I sat in church, I continued to ponder on our situation. I decided that it comes down to what this trial is about anyways.


 It comes down to the fact that I am suppose to be relying on faith and Heavenly Father, not on doctors or anyone else.  I really think that is why our primary care doctor has been missing in action.  I think this is why they sent a PA who had no clue.  I think this is why we have felt completely abandoned by man and totally alone, medically speaking.  We have been lifted up in prayer by hundreds and that is an incredible gift!

 I read this passage of scripture. "I am the light which shineth in darkness and by my power, I give these words unto you.  Put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good, yea to do justly, to walk humbly and to judge righteously and this is my spirit.  Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy."   I've been trying to put my trust in a doctor that never showed up.

I'm going to let the anger go I have toward our doctor.  I'm still not going to go back to him ever...but I'm going to forgive his poor behavior and move on.

So here some thoughts that I will try to live by this week...

" Perplexed but not despaired"
"On our Savior's love we rest"
"As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing all things." 2 Cor. 6:10

Finally..."Force a smile, gaze Heavenward and say, "I understand Lord.  I know what this is.  A time to prove myself isn't it?"  Jorge Klebingat

I love another thing that Jorge Klebingat said, "Confidence comes when we have the kind of Faith that produces a steady stream of tender mercies and even mighty miracles."

Without a doubt, there have been a steady stream of tender mercies. To visit with Spencer and feel his strong, hopeful spirit you will know that he is a miracle.  You wouldn't know the kind of pain and discomfort he is in.  It has been so time consuming and exhausting to get the house in order to contain any spread of bacteria from Spencer to the other kids but anything the other kids pick up to Spencer.

The kids have been amazing to co operate and help out with stuff.  I finally finished sanitizing the last of Spencer's belongings and clothes.  The house has been bleached down three times today.

As for Spencer, he is trying so hard to be in good spirits but he is in significant pain with a migraine and stiff neck that continues.  He has hardly eaten anything today because of cramping and pain.  For now, the fluid he got in the hospital is sustaining him.  Tomorrow is his last day to take the antibiotic for Salmonella.  From there...our faith will need to double that his body will fight the remaining bacteria left.  We still have C-diff to fight and Cytomegalovirus.  I really wish he had just one little working white cell.  Just one!  Imagine what god could do with just one good cell?!  Let's wait and see what God can do without any decent cells to work with...


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