It was nice while it lasted

Well, just got back from the hospital.  The falling trend of the platelets has begun.  It was really nice enjoying high counts for a week.  As it looks right now, depending on how fast they fall, she will have another infusion sometime towards the end of the week or first part of next week.  We will see the doctor tomorrow and make a plan.  My plan is that when we do another infusion, I want her admitted so that it can run slower than last time and have lots of fluids on board as well.  Taking more time to do it might eliminate a lot of the side effects.  We will also discuss the option of a pic line or port so she doesn't have to get stuck so much.  Today was really tough for them to find a vein.  The chemo she had three years ago has changed the size of her veins and they are really small now.  Couple that with the fact she is covered in bruises and some scar tissue is beginning to form, blood draws are no longer that simple.   We will have a couple of busy days in the next few with lots of appt. planned; Ear Nose Throat, Family Doc and Oncology...

It's amazing to me just how fast ones mind can take a crummy situation and put it in a bubble so that you can move forward each day in something that resembles normal without really thinking about the pending doom.  That is pretty much how the last week has felt.  Lots of people at church asked about Shelbie and what the future holds.  I just rattle off some facts like they really don't matter.  I feel immune from being sad or overwhelmed which is good but creates a bit of a disconnect for other people who are clearly worried and distressed on our behalf.  Then we see results like today and the bubble bursts and we are reminded that this isn't going to just go away on its own.  A wise philosopher once said that we should be like a little kid who plays with bubbles, they don't cry when one bursts, they just set out to blow another one.  Today, we will just have to work on that new bubble to insulate us from the intensities that will surely come. 

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