Skip to main content

The want of many

Well, it is that time of year again.  My third annual 29 gifts project has begun.  Every year, I think I'm too busy to do it again, yet there is no question that it is something I need. It changes my life.  It sets the new year on a course of gratitude.

I'm already on day 4 of the gifts project.  I've been posting my efforts on Instagram.  I want to make something clear...I do not do this experiment in giving, to draw attention to myself.  I don't post my experiences and gifts because I think I'm all that or something amazing.  I do it, because I have a deep passion about where we are going in life.  Where we are all going in life.

We spend so much time anymore, to ourselves.  We take a few minutes, more than we should, liking a Facebook post, as if a 'thumbs' up is going to change things for good or for bad.  We plead on our social pages for prayers, we air our troubles and we dutifully comment to others that a prayer will be said, a thought will be given.  We share cryptic messages, afraid to really be seen or heaven forbid, appear less than perfect.  We share our joys, and triumphs and we give the universal sign that our nearest and dearest are liked, at least.  We do all this and end the day with impostor feelings that we really connected with people, but did we?

There is so much want in the world, at least in my world.  People want to be noticed, really noticed.  People want to connect with someone for real. People want to be seen, appreciated, loved.  People want a sense of belonging, even before they want food, clothing or shelter.  We have lost our sense of security, belonging and even a place of self.  Among all this want is suffering.  When we don't have the basics of life, we suffer.

Not only do I see this in the world around me but I feel some of these things myself. We can either let our trials and hardships make us bitter, or we can let them make us better.  I know the past year has been hard.  I have spent a great deal of time trying to figure things out and complaining but at the same time, pursuing happiness that can feel so fleeting at times.  I will go to great lengths, make whatever sacrifice is necessary to teach my kids that happiness, no matter what is happening at home, comes from giving yourself to others.  You give away, the very thing you need yourself.

So, for me, 29 gifts isn't about attention or some grand scheme, it's simply about trying to give to someone, love that is deficient in all of us, no matter who you are.  Feeling loved, remembered, considered, in real terms is a balm of peace and the spirit of happiness and it is in great shortage these days.  Loneliness is becoming chronic, thanks in part to the smoke and mirrors of social media.

It constantly amazes me that people make comments like, "I wish I was more like you."  or "You are amazing."  I'm not amazing...there is nothing amazing or super human about giving one hour of your time to watch a kid so the parents can have a break.  I don't have any special skill sets for babysitting, I'm not the baby whisperer...I'm nothing.  I'm you, I'm everyone else you meet along the path of life. I'm just trying to find happiness and peace myself.  I'm trying to be the disciple of Christ I signed up to be.  I'm trying to save myself, my kids and maybe someone else who is a recipient of love.  Anyone can do this.  I'm nothing special.  Giving gets us beyond ourselves, over ourselves; it leverages us from a mire of problems.

Each year, I extend a challenge to anyone who wants to do this with me or do start their own challenge.  Filling the want of many starts with one little loving gesture at a time.  I post these ideas to inspire you!  Do little thing.  Make a difference.  I promise, it will change your life. It will displace the feelings of stress, overwhelm, even despair in your own heart.

Sam helping me assemble blessing bags for Hope Lodge.  A place for people receiving cancer treatment in Utah to stay and be taken care of. 

This was day one...I made several gratitude journals to give away

I offered to babysit for a family who has an autistic son.  

The finished blessing bags for Hope Lodge. 



Popular posts from this blog


It's been a mess trying to get this appointment for Sam lined out.  They had us booked for a Friday afternoon appointment but I was so upset when I found out it was going to be with the same Cardiac Electrophysiologist that Spencer has.  I am not super happy with him.   When I hung up the phone with the nurse, I immediately felt anxious.
A short while later, she called me back to say that doctor decided he couldn't be in clinic on Friday so she wanted to switch us to someone else but first she had to get all the docs to review his chart and decide if they would take us on...and get permission from the doc we had our first appointment from to switch teams.  What is that all about?  I thought we lived in a 'free' country...or something like that.
Late this afternoon, the nurse confirmed that one other doctor agreed to take Sam's case.  I'm still not feeling very settled.  I hate new doctors.  I hate the rehashing of history.  I hate the getting use to bedside m…

This Happened...

It's been a pretty busy week around here but there's always time to squeeze in a little DIY project right?

My Wasband gave each of the kids a piece of furniture of their choice.  The boys choose shelving units that are really nice and Shelbie chose a sectional sofa with down's really nice.  Probably the nicest thing in my house even though it's over 20 years old.  The problem is, it's really big and my house is really small.

Shelbie has had her heart set on this for the basement.  I am letting her take over the basement so she feels a little autonomy.  It's not just about the sofa, it's about the memories that comes with the sofa.  Memories of family Karaoke nights, family movies with popcorn, bedtime stories, family home evenings, Christmas nights under the tree,  happy parents, happy family...all the stuff that children from divorce dream about from days gone by.

All the King's men and all the King's horses couldn't get that s…

Blissful thinking

This has just been a week of stuff...lots of hard stuff so it only seemed fitting to finish things off with a trip to the dentist.  I hate the dentist.  I have always hated the dentist.  I will always hate the dentist.

I had to have a root canal.

I figured I could either be upset and cranky and whine and complain or try to make the best of it.

So...I tried to make the best of it.

I am not very good at taking care of myself and I'm especially not good at asking other people to help me take care of myself or take care of anything really so, when the dental assistants ask if I need anything, I always say, "I'm fine."

Not yesterday.  Nope. I am a tired and cranky woman, on Prednisone, with an abscess in my ear to boot!

Just before I left for the dentist, I dug through the sofa cushions to find some left over Valium.  I was really intent on making this a good experience! They say that attitude is everything!  It's not what happens to you, but how you choose to deal …