Skip to main content

Patience and Prayer

This week!  I tell you...the energy it takes to be patient and pray is astounding.

Patience and prayer in some ways, goes against my grain.  I'm a mover and a shaker.  I make things happen.  I don't sit around, ever.  I have been trying the past few years to really focus on the will of God, especially when it comes to things I can not change or can not control.  It is a trial in itself.

Honestly, yesterday was a shambles.  Just a downright messy mess of a mess.  The day was being fueled by frustration, fatigue and anger, not faith.  Nothing close to faith.

This morning, I said my prayers.  Do you ever feel like prayer is just an exercise in passive laziness? (Yes, I meant to be redundant) What I really want to be doing is knocking heads together, making mean and angry phone calls, getting appointments set up, screwing the insurance protocols...This isn't just anyone we are talking about here, we are talking about my daughter.  My little girl.  My flesh and blood.  An amazing human being with a spirit as strong as anyone I know.  A young woman with a heart of gold who has been through way more than most adults who lived to the ripe old age of 90. Don't they know?  Don't  they know how precious she is to me?  If they did, they would be hurrying to find out what is causing her so much pain and distress.

Despite all the feelings I am having.  I said a humble, patient prayer, conscious to align my spirit with God's.  Pleading if at all possible, we could get a plan underway.

Then, I heard that an acquaintance of mine just found out two weeks ago that her husband has lymphoma and started treatment earlier this week already with the same doctor that has literally been ignoring us.  I was heartbroken and just sad.

But...I steadied my heart and continued to do the only thing I can do...counsel with the Lord in everything.  Every thought, every worry, every bitter moment that comes.

Finally...Our family doctor had his nurse call to tell me that they had faxed all of Shelbie's records to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and sent the insurance referral.  Just minutes after that, the nurse co-ordinator emailed me that she had received medical records for the past year and is preparing to get us on the schedule and get another bone marrow biopsy scheduled in Seattle.

Now...I want to cry in relief.  Even though prayer seems so passive, it holds more power than any other force known to man!

In other news...I have a big surprise planned for my sweet Shelbie. It is to end the last day of my 29 Gifts project!  She loves themed hotel rooms.  I called my Wasband and we talked about it and together, we have reserved an Italian themed hotel room!  Little Bear and I will be going to set up the room with dinner gift cards, movie passes, baskets of treats and drinks.  A little overnight getaway to just have fun and forget this week even happened!

Shelbie has plans with her best friend tonight but I told her I really needed her to stay home tonight.  She got a little upset at first because her best friend is leaving for a few months this coming Wednesday but she conceded.  Little does she know...her best friend will be spending the whole weekend with her at the hotel and having fun!   I'm so's like someone opened the window to let some fresh air in this stuffy, suffocating little week we have had!



Popular posts from this blog

Some Results

I was surprised to get a brief update from our doctor this morning.

They did not catch any seizure activity last week.  She said that while that may be good news, it didn't rule out deep structure seizures.   I asked if the test gave any insight to the cause of the slowing of activity in her brain and these were her words.

" No, this does not give an answer ... But it is just one test, done one time ..."

We are still waiting on the MRI results.  I'm not losing hope.  I know, I play this game ALL THE TIME...I wish for problems that no one in their right mind would wish for.  I only do that because it's usually the option with a fix.  Of all the things they are considering to be an issue for Shelbie, seizures are the simplest explanation and medication would manage it.

I'm certain we aren't going to find a solution to her problems any time soon.  While I sat in the waiting room during her 2 hour MRI last Thursday, there was a couple in the room as well.  A…

Random Saturday

Whenever I feel like we are careening out of control, I declutter and clean.  By midnight on Friday, I had 1/3 of my living room filled with stuff I didn't want.  Today, I made a couple of trips to the thrift store and the dump.

Ahhh, I feel like I lost 20 pounds.

When Sam came home after his first week at school a while back, he said, "Wow, my room looks the same."

"What did you think your room would look like?"  I asked.


Turkey!  He came home this morning with his laundry and was a bit despaired.  He said, "Mom, you gotta help me with the smell in my apartment!  I can't stand it anymore! Do we have any Ozium?"

He went on to explain that there is no garbage disposal in the kitchen sink but food gets crammed down there anyways.  He said he keeps putting the little metal drains in that are meant to catch bits of food but his roommates take them out.  He's about fed up.  And while he was on his rant about boys and their leve…

A Witness

I was expecting just another run of the mill night at the gym last night.  The kind where the 'meat heads' stay at their end of the gym grunting and groaning to sound strong and I would claim a little corner in the room where the Yogi's hang out and Plank, and there I would Spin on a bike for a few miles, do some rowing, a little TRX and finish up with some free weights.

Last night though, I actually decided to do an easier workout and took an inclined walk on the treadmill.  There were no meat heads in far end of the gym.  No one really at the gym at all.  For the longest time, I kept pace with an old guy on a bike behind me.

But then, a man and his son came in.  I knew them.  I knew them well but they don't know just how well I know them.  They have a son who passed away from Cystic Fibrosis a little while ago, he would have been Spencer's age now.  They have a younger son who also has CF.  I knew his wife and mother in law back when my kids were being diagnosed.…