What comes after these two words is what is coming for you next.
This, according to Joel Osteen and his new book , The Power of, I Am.
I haven't read it but I saw these two words on the cover of his new book and they struck me with a force I wasn't expecting.
I spend a lot of time saying...I am...tired. I am sick. I am sick and tired. I am...choose anything regarding exhaustion and that is what I am most of the time.
Today is the first day of a new year and I wanted to wake up with inspiring words falling out of my head and catching on the edge of my tongue; something equally forceful and powerful to the two smallest words in the English language- I AM... I thought it would be incredible! Inspirational! Powerful! Moving! Exceptional! Abundant!
That didn't happen. I am full of good intentions. I am overflowing with wishful thinking.
I have been alone for the majority of the past week. No kids. I had one day with Spencer, Shelbie's been in California all week and Sam has a social calendar that makes this 40 something look pathetic. I am pathetic...that is what I woke up to this morning. Pathetic thoughts about myself. Sometimes, the silence is suffocating and strangles the feelings of loneliness even more!
I have found that I have given away little pieces of myself to this very undeserving disease. I gave everything I had to caring for my kids and everyone around me but forgot to take care of myself. It seems selfish and I am anything but selfish. And now, being alone, I see that there is nothing left of me. Nothing to define me; ground me, without my kids. They are more than the reason I get up every day. Man...I didn't see this coming!
Despite my very best efforts to not let this disease define us, take from us...it did. It has.
I am not giving up. It seems to be a popular tradition lately, at the beginning of a new year to choose a word for the year; something inspiring, something to live up to. I think I will choose the words, I- AM... I will keep working on what comes next. Life is all about trying right?
Have you noticed just how often you use these two words in a given day? Just in this post, without trying...I redefined this phrase a half a dozen times! If what comes after these two words are the thing that is coming for you next...that's an impressive notion.
So...what are you?
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