Good for the soul

It has been such a whirlwind of a week.  My friend that I was helping to tend to, passed away on Monday.  As always, it was sad.  From the time she was diagnosed with Colon Cancer to her passing, it was just 12 short days!  12 days!!

I had another friend who had a baby last week so between meals to the new arrivals and meals to the departing, I have been busy but it's the kind of busy I like.  It's good for the soul.

Even though it has added to my load, it has not exactly felt like a burden.  It's the kind of additional work I like because it stops my head from worrying about a hundred other things.  Nothing like helping someone else with their problems.  I think the funeral will be very hard on Friday since I will be participating in the music and that is always a really hard thing for me to do but since the family asked...

I got a letter from Spencer this week, a hand written letter...that is also good for my soul!  I don't know how I lucked out with the kids I have.  Considering all the crazy we have been through, we have done okay.  Spencer mentioned all the things we have gotten through, including raising a 'rabble rousing red head" (his words, not mine.) Everyday he gets to be on his mission is another gift from God.  A miracle, really.

Sam on the other hand, didn't share the same sentiments of our family that Spencer did.

Something came up, I can't quite remember what started it but Sam said, "Well, if you ask me, it's no fun coming from a broken, messed up family."

I about came unglued... inside of course, because I have tried so hard to keep this family together and to raise responsible, moral children who are happy and well adjusted.  I have tried to keep them centered and grounded and to put them first, no matter what.  Instead, I calmly said, "Tell me what part you think is broken and needs to be fixed."

"Well, duh!!  My parents are divorced and that's just messed up."
"Yes, it very well may be a mess but tell me about what's broken.  Broken means it doesn't work so aside from my marriage, what is broken in our family?"

He thought for a few minutes..."Well, I don't know.  People just say we are a broken family."
"Hmmmm, people that haven't spent anytime in our home?  People who have no clue what goes on behind our 4 walls?  If you can't think of anything in our family that is broken, besides divorce, then tell me what is not broken."

He went on to list some really great things we have going for us.  I added to his list and when we were through, he decided that maybe some people who perceive us to be BROKEN were maybe just judging us and at the end of the day, we may be messed up, but we are not broken.

It's an interesting idea...a broken family.  I love this idea... Kintsukuroi- to repair with gold or silver, understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken. There was a time when we were broken maybe...but not anymore...


Even approaching this topic of 'broken' with Sam was good for my soul.  I like it when my kids are candid and honest; it helps me know where they are in their heads.   They don't always talk about their deepest feelings so I feel really blessed when they finally do open up.  I could tell it has been bothering Sam for awhile and could easily become a point of anger and rebellion.  Now that I know he has these feelings, it's something we can work on and that is good.  Good for the soul!

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