PTSD? ....Nah...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...Who has that?  Me?  Nah....

Well, maybe.

Maybe a bit.

Today has been an okay day, really busy but there were some odd moments when some serious anxiety and emotion broke through my activities of distraction.  I was completely caught off guard by it.

Worse than that.  I was merrily drafting away at my computer when the phone rang.  I looked at the screen and it was the High School!

The normal, un-traumatized me would have said to myself,  "Hmmm, I wonder what they want?" Then answered the call and wait patiently to hear the person on the other end.  Often, the school will call with random recorded announcements about early out, tardies whatever.

Instead, the traumatized me immediately started shaking and the first thought in my little overworked mind was, "Oh my gosh...Sam died.  He collapsed.  Had a massive heart attack...and a stroke!" I answered the phone with what must have been a shaky voice because the teacher on the other end asked if I was alright.

Sam was alright.  The special ed teacher was just calling to set up another meeting for Sam's IEP review.  Seriously, I couldn't catch my breath yet I was trying so hard to sound normal.   He also asked if Sam was okay.  I wasn't sure exactly what he in what way?

I told him I thought he was okay, referring to his emotional state but he said another teacher had reported that Sam didn't look very good and didn't seem to be doing very well.  There was only an hour and a half left of school so I didn't want to be dramatic and drive down there to get him so I tried to just attend to my work.

Sam did look so tired when I picked him up after school and he wasn't his chipper self.  I asked him if he was alright and he gave his usual standard answer...I'm just tired.

I bet he is...sigh......

I talked to the U of U Medical Center today and they have about got the insurance issues resolved.  They will review the case on Monday and call me if they approved it.  She said if everything goes as planned, we should be able to get there mid week for the testing!  Crossing my fingers...sort a haphazard kind of way!  Mixed Feelings...Oh how I love denial!



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