The Unseen Purpose
I have never been quite so perplexed about the purpose of things as I am when I think of Spencer. I often find myself gazing Heavenward and thinking...but why? Or, as a friend of mine once said, "Was this really necessary?"
In the mess of health problems we are having with Spence, he lost his job. They made another round of lay offs last week and the entire marketing team was laid off. Spencer getting laid off was the last thing I wanted to have happen. It's been a very hard place to work lately, even a toxic place to work but without a doubt, he was led to this job. He knew it. I knew it. It was where he was suppose to be but why? What was the point? They had so many management problems, financial problems and product issues, they could never really get their marketing plans off the ground so it's been months of frustrations.
It is hard as the matriarch, trying to keep these kids on track, to give an answer they are happy with, when they wonder why they never get a break. I really feel badly for Spencer. He really has had nothing but struggle since the day he got home from his mission. He is having a hard time keeping the faith and trusting or hoping that things will get better for him.
All I can say to him is, "I don't know, but I know God doesn't make mistakes."
I really do believe that, but one of the hardest things I've had to learn lately, is that many of his purposes for our life remain unseen until some distant day, when we can look back and see with greater clarity, what it all meant. I know where we are suppose to be, but understanding what we are to learn is a constant challenge.
I wish there was an easier way. I wish that for one minute, Spencer could see the purpose in the trials he faces. It's almost as if the very act of making sense of the suffering, is the fuel we need to fire up our faith and keep going. When you feel stuck in seemingly futile trials, it's easy to give up. I worry that is where Spencer is. To make matters worse, his roommate had to move home because he has been sick, so Spencer is alone. There is nothing worse than loneliness and isolation on top of everything else.
At any rate, our tour of hospitals will continue. We will be cramming in a lot of things this month as usual. I finally heard back from Oncology and got appointments set for two weeks with bone marrow biopsies to follow. I am anxious to get those done. Shelbie and Sam will both be added to the mix this month so more trips back and forth will remain our constant. In those quiet moments, as I burn up the miles between States, I hope to find a little more resilience in my thoughts and a healthy dose of wisdom to know how to succor my children during these hard and trying times.
In the mess of health problems we are having with Spence, he lost his job. They made another round of lay offs last week and the entire marketing team was laid off. Spencer getting laid off was the last thing I wanted to have happen. It's been a very hard place to work lately, even a toxic place to work but without a doubt, he was led to this job. He knew it. I knew it. It was where he was suppose to be but why? What was the point? They had so many management problems, financial problems and product issues, they could never really get their marketing plans off the ground so it's been months of frustrations.
It is hard as the matriarch, trying to keep these kids on track, to give an answer they are happy with, when they wonder why they never get a break. I really feel badly for Spencer. He really has had nothing but struggle since the day he got home from his mission. He is having a hard time keeping the faith and trusting or hoping that things will get better for him.
All I can say to him is, "I don't know, but I know God doesn't make mistakes."
I really do believe that, but one of the hardest things I've had to learn lately, is that many of his purposes for our life remain unseen until some distant day, when we can look back and see with greater clarity, what it all meant. I know where we are suppose to be, but understanding what we are to learn is a constant challenge.
I wish there was an easier way. I wish that for one minute, Spencer could see the purpose in the trials he faces. It's almost as if the very act of making sense of the suffering, is the fuel we need to fire up our faith and keep going. When you feel stuck in seemingly futile trials, it's easy to give up. I worry that is where Spencer is. To make matters worse, his roommate had to move home because he has been sick, so Spencer is alone. There is nothing worse than loneliness and isolation on top of everything else.
At any rate, our tour of hospitals will continue. We will be cramming in a lot of things this month as usual. I finally heard back from Oncology and got appointments set for two weeks with bone marrow biopsies to follow. I am anxious to get those done. Shelbie and Sam will both be added to the mix this month so more trips back and forth will remain our constant. In those quiet moments, as I burn up the miles between States, I hope to find a little more resilience in my thoughts and a healthy dose of wisdom to know how to succor my children during these hard and trying times.
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