The Path
"When you are on the path you will know it, when you are not on it, you will know it." Tao of Lao Tze. I have no idea who this guy is but I like what he says. He goes on to say, "The process of living life allows you to feel as if you have found the path."
I like these thoughts. I know that right now in this period of my life, I am not on the Path. Well, I am on A path but not the path I want to be on. I'm on the 'crazy' path. Incidently, did you know the word Tao means 'path'? I believe we find our path because of our life situations. Some of life's experiences are energizing, moving us effortlessly along, sometimes we find ourselves half dragging down the path.
Dragging myself down some path is what feels familiar these days. I have allowed myself to be consumed with the hard things this summer has dished out. I realize that while I may not be depressed in the traditional sense of the word, I am definitely distracted by everything going on; unemployment and health problems. I didn't realize how much these setbacks threaten not only my own physical health, sense of well being but my competence and productivity as well. Recently I was validated when someone going through similar struggles mentioned the same side effects of late onset ADD. Sometimes just recognizing the problem or having someone else recognize it, makes a difference in how I manage.
Never before have I felt so disheveled. It's really hard for me to deal with. I am usually the one multi tasking my way to the next task, blowing through my to do list with ease and starting a new one. When I speak, I use to make sense. Now I just seem to talk in circles. I can see it on the faces of people I am trying to communicate with they are just plain confused. I usually notice these cues and say, "You have no idea what I am trying to say do you?" They generally smirk and say, "No, not really."
So, while my efforts to get back on the Path seem irrevelant and fruitless, I am still making the effort. This week, I am going to try to tackle the week in a more organized and strict manner. I'll let you know how it goes. I have a lot to do this week in our little world of doctors. I have to schedule appointments for all the kids to have their bi- annual Gastroenterologist check up done in Boise. Schedule follow up appointments in Seattle and plan a special surprise for Spencer...more on that later! I also want to start writing a few posts on the emotional stages of dealing with our genetic fruit salad.
I like these thoughts. I know that right now in this period of my life, I am not on the Path. Well, I am on A path but not the path I want to be on. I'm on the 'crazy' path. Incidently, did you know the word Tao means 'path'? I believe we find our path because of our life situations. Some of life's experiences are energizing, moving us effortlessly along, sometimes we find ourselves half dragging down the path.
Dragging myself down some path is what feels familiar these days. I have allowed myself to be consumed with the hard things this summer has dished out. I realize that while I may not be depressed in the traditional sense of the word, I am definitely distracted by everything going on; unemployment and health problems. I didn't realize how much these setbacks threaten not only my own physical health, sense of well being but my competence and productivity as well. Recently I was validated when someone going through similar struggles mentioned the same side effects of late onset ADD. Sometimes just recognizing the problem or having someone else recognize it, makes a difference in how I manage.
Never before have I felt so disheveled. It's really hard for me to deal with. I am usually the one multi tasking my way to the next task, blowing through my to do list with ease and starting a new one. When I speak, I use to make sense. Now I just seem to talk in circles. I can see it on the faces of people I am trying to communicate with they are just plain confused. I usually notice these cues and say, "You have no idea what I am trying to say do you?" They generally smirk and say, "No, not really."
So, while my efforts to get back on the Path seem irrevelant and fruitless, I am still making the effort. This week, I am going to try to tackle the week in a more organized and strict manner. I'll let you know how it goes. I have a lot to do this week in our little world of doctors. I have to schedule appointments for all the kids to have their bi- annual Gastroenterologist check up done in Boise. Schedule follow up appointments in Seattle and plan a special surprise for Spencer...more on that later! I also want to start writing a few posts on the emotional stages of dealing with our genetic fruit salad.
Comments
Post a Comment