Happy First Birthday
Happy 1st Birthday to Spencer!!
It was one year ago today that he unexpectedly had a "Factory Reset" on his heart. I'm so glad that he managed to make it back so I could have another year with him!
Spencer and his friend use humor to survive hard things like this, so while Spencer was in the hospital down in St. George, his friend recorded a series of video clips of Spencer, all with songs that had to do with dying. They laughed about it then and afterwards but I didn't dare look at it until dinner a few weeks ago. Anyways...I gotta hand it to them...They are kind of funny. I mean, I have to look at them with my heart a safe distance and then I can laugh just a little.
So, it's been an interesting week. I've been doing a lot of studying and research lately on stress and trauma. This week, I suffered a major setback in my health and my doctor is getting pretty concerned. 80% of my joints are extremely swollen and red hot. He did ultrasounds again and they are full of fluid. He was going to try to drain some of them but he said, "There are too many to drain." So, I'm on a mean dose of steroids plus he gave me another steroid injection and I'm on some other anti inflammatory meds. I can't help but think this flare is directly related to this anniversary.
We think that we have dealt with trauma because we moved on; time passes. We function. I remember that early morning hour when I got the call. I remember how I was afraid to even breathe! I remember how I tried to go about my day in disbelief of what had happened. One day fell into the next and we seemed to move along. Every now and again, it takes my breath away when I catch myself remembering moments of this event.
At any rate, I'm glad we get to celebrate his life still. That's a good thing. I've learned a lot this week about life and how we deal with it and how it deals with us!
It was one year ago today that he unexpectedly had a "Factory Reset" on his heart. I'm so glad that he managed to make it back so I could have another year with him!
A few weeks ago, when we were in Salt Lake, we met Spencer and his friend for dinner- the same friend who performed CPR and saved his life at 4 in the morning while camping in Zions National Park. I have thanked him a million times but we have never spoken about the event. I find that some things are better left unsaid...for the time being. Over dinner, I finally asked him what that did to him and he was honest and it was not easy for me to hear. He said he's never been so scared in his life and to this day, he still feels traumatized by it. After it happened, he had to get a sound machine in order to go to sleep. The two of them are still roommates and he said if Spencer starts coughing at night, his heart races and he immediately panics. I feel bad that he has to deal with the remains of this. I have watched my kids lose consciousness and it is something you never forget.
Spencer and his friend use humor to survive hard things like this, so while Spencer was in the hospital down in St. George, his friend recorded a series of video clips of Spencer, all with songs that had to do with dying. They laughed about it then and afterwards but I didn't dare look at it until dinner a few weeks ago. Anyways...I gotta hand it to them...They are kind of funny. I mean, I have to look at them with my heart a safe distance and then I can laugh just a little.
Here's the YouTube link if you want to see what they did. Blogger won't let me upload it here.
We think that we have dealt with trauma because we moved on; time passes. We function. I remember that early morning hour when I got the call. I remember how I was afraid to even breathe! I remember how I tried to go about my day in disbelief of what had happened. One day fell into the next and we seemed to move along. Every now and again, it takes my breath away when I catch myself remembering moments of this event.
At any rate, I'm glad we get to celebrate his life still. That's a good thing. I've learned a lot this week about life and how we deal with it and how it deals with us!
Comments
Post a Comment