Schooled.

Tonight after work, I stopped to get the mail and my little neighbor friend was out on the grass playing with his pal.
I said,  "Hey! Are you having fun playing Star Wars?" I was only guessing because they had those light thingys.  Then I said to the friend, "Are you Darth Vader?"

His reply to me was, "No!  Don't you know anything?  I'm not Darth Vader, he is.  Why would you think I was Darth Vader?"

This six year old rendered me speechless!  Then the two of them started arguing about Rogue something and CP, D2...I don't have a clue.  I watched Star Wars in 1979 or something and didn't pay much attention then and could care less now.  I just stood there, til I realized my mouth was gaping and watching 6 year old boys argue was the highlight of my day! "Okay, well, have fun!  Don't fight, sorry I asked."  LOL...and drove off.

A couple of days ago, Sam came into my office in the early afternoon and said, "So, what are you up to?  Are you hungry?"

"I'm just working.  Nope, not hungry.  How about you?"  I asked.
"Ya, starved.  I wondered if you were going to be making lunch or what's the deal?"

You know I can't resist a question like that!!
 "Oh shoot, while you were away at school, we underwent some Corporate Restructuring and sadly, we had to let our Lunch Lady go.  I wasn't sure how to tell you the news.  We all miss her...deeply."

"So...no lunch?"

"Well, I mean cutbacks are cutbacks.  Everyone's feeling the pinch these days.  I think the Lunch Lady left some easy to grab snacks you are welcome to...Goldfish crackers, a half a bag of Chow Mein noodles- the good kind, and there are some Cornflake crumbs as well.  Just don't fill up on snacks since dinner will be in 3 short hours."

Sarcasm is our second language here and it's so fun.  It's way better than a solid 'NO'.  As Sam hung his head,  he said, "Could you at least ask Corporate to send us a loaf of bread and Bologna?"

Ha ha ha..."Okay, I'll see what I can do."

So, poor kids are starving around here.  I haven't had a second to grocery shop but I finally did yesterday and told them to write down what they wanted on my list.

I think I may have to bring the Lunch Lady back...their lunch items are DISGUSTING!!! AND have been banned from this house for 25 years!  Tuna?!  Barf.  Guacamole?  Ugh.  Bologna?  Fish... Bleh.

I hate processed foods, and fish and tuna are the worst!  It is disgusting.  I even question if it's really legitimate food. Spencer is still going strong on his Keto diet which is just protein so he asked me to buy fish and cook it for him.  I have never in my life cooked fish because I hate fish but I'm also a dutiful mother so tonight I made him some grilled Cod.  Seriously, so much for sleeping.  My bedroom, which isn't far from the kitchen smells like a fish market in Seattle.

How do you even know when fish is cooked...it's the same color raw as it is cooked?  That's dumb.

Guacamole?  Never made it in my life so Sam told me to get this processed stuff so I did.  Today, he realized it wasn't even made with real Avocados and he felt cheated in life.  Guess who will be learning how to make Guacamole from scratch?  This girl!!  (insert eye rolling)

Well, this is a random post.  Life is just a mystery to me and I've decided to ignore all my problems in lieu of sarcasm and starting fights with 6 year old children minding their own business.  It's going so well!

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Comments

  1. Bahahaha!!! Try Wholly Guacamole. It's actually decent. :) by the fancy lighthouse dressing and the packages of Chiz's

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  2. I hate fish too!! I tastes so...fishy. 🤢 And NO ONE is allowed to cook fish in my house!

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