Heart updates and such

It's been a pretty tough week around here.  Personally, I've had some issues myself to deal with that are a little disconcerting.  Not feeling well for such a long time prompted me to find a doctor who would actually listen to me.  That led to a series of tests in the hospital.

I'm pretty sneaky when it comes to stuff like this.  The kids get a little anxious if they know I have to have tests and stuff so I try to not let them know.  The big concern has been my kidney.  It's had a growth in it that we've been watching for awhile but lately, every day I feel like I have the start of a kidney stone and the more I drink to stay hydrated, the worse I feel.  No final word on that, I will find out on Wednesday of the coming week.  Yesterday and today have been miserable in the pain department so I hope it's something that is nothing...or can be fixed easily.  Today, I had to spend a little more time having tests done and those results will also be back Wednesday when I see my doctor.   It's no fun.  I'm sure it will all be okay in the end but I love all this time I have to worry and fret.  Such a great past time.

The real kicker came tonight when I got Sam's cardiac testing results.  I'm really scared that maybe they won't be able to Pace him.  (That's the term used for people who get a pacemaker...I guess. A little Cardiac slang cause I'm cool like that.) I guess since I'm not an electrophysiologist, I will sit tight and let them decide on Wednesday.

The report said the following abnormalities were present:

He has a Right Bundle Branch Block- the right ventricle in his heart is not activated by the electrical system and impulses.  The left ventricle hypertrophy which means the muscle wall is getting abnormally thick.  This is the kind of thing that causes sudden death.  I have no idea what this means for Sam as far as treatment options but I know it doesn't carry a good prognosis.

Even still...I am going to choose to believe that we are finding out about this so that something can be done to preserve his life.  I'm still really scared and anxious about this but in reality, this could be a gift.  There are many people who die from sudden cardiac death and didn't know they had a problem.  They had no chance to fix it and no warning that they were sick.  We know.  Sam has symptoms of this and we have a chance to fix it.  That's a pretty big and generous blessing in a way...one of those good gifts that looks like it could be something other, if you don't look carefully.

So often in life, we dismiss something hastily, thinking it's not what we wanted, or prayed for and not a blessing at all but really, if we weren't so quick to put our own meaning on it, we would see the wonders of God written all over it.  Sam is my wonder...he will be okay.  This is not how his story is going to end.

The challenge this weekend will be to stay busy and far from needless worry.

On Monday, we will experience Totality! A total solar eclipse and our little town is at the heart of this event.  It will be a good distraction for us all.  We plan to climb up on the roof with our Doritos and Diet Coke, and chill with our awesome eclipse glasses and pretend that it's the biggest thing in our life.

Some people will never witness a total solar eclipse.  I will be lucky enough to see two!  I was in 4th grade when I saw the last one.  I have the best luck...wouldn't you say?  (Don't answer that...)


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