Here we are

One year sets and another year begins to rise on the horizon
We made it!  We all made it through 12 grueling months.  I've put on at least 15 years in 2016 alone...My heart is a little heavier, my brain is stuffed and my skin hangs a little lower in wrinkles of worry; just one of the souvenirs I'll be bringing with me into 2017 I guess. Oh, and some white hair too!

It was a year that left no room to breathe, moments that stopped us in mid sentence in our busyness of living. There were left turns and U turns and nowhere to turn.  We felt the impact of loss and grief but every now and again, an accent of hope and I daresay, joy.  However fleeting it may have been, I remember meeting joy in the most unexpected places; feeling joy that seized my heart in skipping beats I actually welcomed.

I could go on and on about how much I hated 2016.  I could go on and on with pleasing platitudes of hope for a great new year. You know, the niceties we expect everyone to say at a time like this, but I would really rather not.

Sometimes I just have to stay real and sometimes real is not a very comfortable place to be.  I'm not in a very comfortable place.  I am thoroughly exhausted from this year and not entirely excited for next.  I just pray it takes pity on me!

Anyways, I can't let the year slip away without mentioning at least something that made 2016 worth living...

I realize I am blessed to be wrapping up the year with these three that I journeyed with.  We did this year together.  All for one and one for all...and all that good stuff!  What amazed me is that my love for them grew exponentially.  The heart can sure hold a lot of love and then some!  This was my favorite photo of 2016.  Without a doubt, we all grew in spirit.  More than we can ever really measure and therein rested much joy!

I read this quote today from an unknown soul, "It is when you're going through the most difficult chapter of your life that your hero is revealed, and how beautiful it is when you finally realize you have the strength to save yourself."

These three are my my Heroes and Sheroe!  They saved me.  They gave me strength to keep doing what had to be done.  They made me try a little harder, live in hope and trust in the unfolding of greater things. I have witnessed them rise above every obstacle in front of them.  I have seen them defy the odds.  That is what made 2016 worth the struggle.

2016 brought some good things...Our nurse Gwen.  I never imagined that I would have room to welcome a stranger to my home and my heart every week for 9 hours of a day but she was sent from Heaven.  She was mercy that had been missing in my life.  Someone who stepped in for one day out of the week to shoulder some of this burden. Not only did she love and care for Shelbie but she loved my boys and I think they loved her too.  It was as if she always belonged with us.  Sadly, people come and people go.  We said goodbye to her this week. 9 months wasn't long enough for her to be in our life.  She is on a new adventure.  She leaves behind an empty place in our Wednesdays.

It was no co-incidence that we managed to compile an amazing team of doctors!  All of them new this year.  All of them in Utah.  All of them hand picked by God I think!

From the top left- Dr. Mary Beth Scholand- Pulmonology,  Dr. Adi Gundlapalli- Immunology, Dr. Paul Shami- Oncology/Hematology, Dr. Kathleen Boynton- Gastroenterology, Dr. Whitehead- Congenital Heart Disease, Shane Beeton- Faint and Fall (the guy who started Spencer's heart after a factory reset!)  Finally, Dr. Mihail Chelu.  We have an international team- American, Canadian, Indian, Lebanese, and  Romanian.  Pretty impressive minds!


I have Dr. Shami to thank for getting these amazing doctors together.  We really did end up with the best of the best.  He knows people all over this country.  He researches, he thinks about us, he works hard to keep the kids comfortable.  They all care about us and that feels so good to finally have some doctors who really care.  They are worth the 4 hour drive.  I still have some sad thoughts about why we couldn't have the same level of care here but I suppose there is nothing more I could have done.

We are adding two new docs in January to round out the team- Autoimmune specialty.  I am very interested for this upcoming appointment. long 2016!  Later.



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