The heart of the matter

I wasn't going to write tonight because Shelbie and I are leaving before the sun even considers rising for the day but it's been one of those days.

My heart is heavy but my soul is light.

These weeks are not passing easily and today was hard.

We had to scramble to get Shelbie's transfusion done and since UPS messed up...AGAIN and delivered it to the wrong house...we got a late start and that is why I'm still up.  The nurse was gracious enough to come all the way up here to get things started at 6pm and she stayed for a couple of hours and then I had to take over.  It's not a big deal but it's still going strong.  I have to take her vitals every hour so that means I stay up until after midnight when it will finally be done!

Spencer got word that his friend was killed in a hiking accident.  He worked with him at Snowbird last winter.  The young man will be leaving behind his 6 year old daughter.  It hit pretty close to home tonight and just a week after another Snowbird employee died in a hiking accident in Oregon- Annie Schmidt, the daughter of the famous pianist, Jon Schmidt.  So, that is hard to watch your kids lose someone they were friends with.

Then little things today that were more annoying than anything like the vacuum dying, the washing machine dying, cars dying or trying to die, missed deadlines, blah, blah, blah.

It has occurred to me recently that this world is in trouble.  People are in trouble.  I look around and I see hearts failing humanity.  I see people who are nothing but angry and narcissistic and  caring about no one but themselves.  I see friends, finding truth in all the wrong places, completely abandoning the once strong Faith they had in God.  It's heartbreaking.

I have reflected back on my own weaknesses this past year, the times when I wanted nothing more than to throw in the towel.  My Faith never wavered but certainly my stamina did.  I know that I have to be strong and immovable for my kids.  I know that they look to me for their strength a lot of the time.  I know that if I can show them what it is like to trust in God then they too, will learn to do that and never falter at the first sign of trouble.  Everyday, I have determined to have an adventure with God and believe me, he has his work cut out for him because there are no human answers to the problems we face.

But, despite our variety of testing today, I have seen the tender mercy and kindness of many.  I have witnessed God blessing us through the charity and love of others today.  People have done things for me that only God and I knew I needed.

I've also been inspired by one little 10 year old boy who is fighting an uphill battle.  He  has Shwachman Diamond Syndrome, the disease we thought we had for 20 years.  He went into the hospital nearly 100 days ago for a risky bone marrow transplant.  He has no matches in the registry so they used his mom's stem cells.  Sadly, after all the chemo and transplant, they found out it failed.   They prepared him for a second transplant using his dad's stem cells but he faced serious infections including encephalitis, kidney failure, and a million other problems.  He is now in ICU and unresponsive and facing yet another infection.

On the same day they transplanted the new cells, his kidneys started failing and they started dialysis.

If you want to be moved and inspired, visit their blog and maybe say some prayers for little Rowan.  He is truly on a special mission.  He is bringing more people than he knows to God.  His mother has an amazing strength and spirit about her.  I promise, you will leave their blog with a change of heart, a new outlook on life and a little extra desire to live as close to God as you can.

Each day, his mom writes out scriptures for him.  Each day, he honors another child with their picture and offers up his own fight for them and they post it on Facebook.  He softens the hard edges of the day.

Rowan is my hero this year.  I knew from the moment I met them in our support group that he was a spiritual giant.  I guess in a lot of ways, I have gained my second wind for facing our own challenges, because of him; his family.  So, this week, I am going to honor Rowan and his example of Faith by being faithful and courageous myself.   I am going to continue to pray intently for his healing and recovery.



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