I have not been very fond of the month of October and I'm pretty glad to see that month in the rear view mirror. I can't say that I loved any month before that either but I'll spare you my complaining.
Despite the ups and downs of the past few weeks, I learned a valuable lesson in October. I learned about Business. That's right- business.
I learned all about my business, your business and God's business from a woman name Byron Katie. She had a podcast that I stumbled upon and her words struck a chord within me.
As she stated, there are only three businesses; yours, other's and God's. When we try to be in charge of anybody's business but our own, we end up with conflict, frustration, judgement and anxiety.
When I worry about my kids' future, I dwell on how things are going to progress and I get anxious and crazy in my head. I worry about the fact that they won't live to any ripe old age. I have even been known to strike a deal or two with God, at least attempt a deal. Turns out I'm not the best Salesman and He wins ...every time. Telling God how to run his business is not my business. He is God after all, and knows exactly what he is doing.
Getting involved in someone else's business is not a successful venture either. And, I've learned that I really don't want people in my business. Facebook is the worst for getting involved in everyone's business. How often do we get wrapped up cryptic posts, conflicts, their perfect kids, their perfect mothering skills, their sugar sweet unwavering love for their spouse, their soapbox, their opinions and to voice yours is only met with more contention? How often have I posted something that was only meant to be funny but someone felt the need to correct me, oppose me, argue with me when really I wasn't interested in what they had to say anyways!
It's so easy to let the musings of others distract you from what is really important.
I have spent most of my life trying to please people around me. Trying to 'Keep my chin up', have a positive attitude, not complain, express a hundred days of joy, a hundred days of gratitude, a 100 days of happiness; whatever the 100 day trend was, only to have it all fizzle out because maybe, I'm not in a place of joy or happiness, but leading people to think that is very important. Heaven forbid they caught you being real.
Some people don't like to see you real. Some people can think of a hundred different ways you should be raising your kids and share many of their thoughts with you. There's always a critic out there, shallow thinkers, someone trying to get in your business. I even had one person tell me that the only reason my kids were sick was because I had never taught them to wash their hands! At first I was hurt. I wanted to defend myself by reminding her that my kids are hardly ever sick with viruses and bacterial infections despite their very, extremely poor functioning immune systems and bone marrow function, yet, her kid, who gets bathed in anti-bacterial lotion at the top of each hour is always sick with one thing or another. I didn't. I let it slide and walked away feeling sad and resentful. That's just what happens when we get into business we have no business being in.
Now that I understand business better, it's easier to handle the critics. It's easier to make decisions regarding my business because I'm not worried about how my choices will look to others. I'm not worried about people understanding and I'm not consumed with trying to make them understand. It's not their job to understand my business.
The other effect this has had on my life has been my ability to stop trying to control the Universe. Life can be more simple when we realize what we have power over and what we don't. It's easier to submit to God's plan for us. There are fewer distractions and more time for important, eternal things. And, I can look at things now and evaluate...is this my business, someone else's business or God's business. It's a great thought! So, I guess October was good for something!