Counting on Sundays

I usually count on Sundays to be the one day that I am able to refocus and regroup for the coming week.  I know this week is going to be a doosy so I was really hoping for a comforting Sunday.  A quiet Sunday.

I went to bed not feeling so great and had a lousy sleep.

I woke up to a text message from my boss, chewing me out and giving me a project to that he needs by Monday morning.  It's not a simple project either.  It's an entire set of floor plans which is about a 15 hour task, minimum.  In the past, when he gives me ridiculous deadlines, I am very accommodating but today, I'm feeling a little less than that. It's Sunday for crying out loud!

During church, I thought about three friends I have, two live in the cyber world and are fighting late stage Melanoma and one is a good friend fighting some mystery problem that has her bedridden.  I thought about these three women and how they are submitting to God's will.  They are all patient in their afflictions.  They all have positive attitudes even though what they are going through is beyond words or comprehension.  One of the ladies is actually just waiting to die.  The doctors have said there is nothing more they can do. She has been moved from Huntsman's Cancer Hospital in Salt Lake,  to a nursing facility but basically, they are only taking measures to keep her comfortable.  She has 5 very young children.  It's so very sad to me but when I read her posts, she is in such a peaceful place.  It's inspiring.  All of them are inspiring.

At church, I thought about how I want to be more like them, patiently submitting to God's will.  I sort of rededicated myself to that idea.

Came out of church...car problems!! AGAIN!  Really God?  Is this your idea of a funny joke?

I take that back about submitting to God's will. I want to be that kind of girl but I sure don't do it very gracefully!  God wastes no time whatsoever teaching us lessons does he?  Me and my big dreams of being a better person!

I couldn't shift into reverse, 1st or 2nd gear!  I just spent over a thousand dollars two weeks ago to fix it!  Now what? Nothing is more frustrating to me.

This week, both kids will be in the hospital.

This week, I have to switch to the healthcare exchange!  It's one of those things that I pray is worse in my head than in reality.  It's in the same realm as getting divorced, losing my job...It really is when it comes to the amount of stress it is producing for me.  Preliminary peek into my options is not proving to be very hopeful.  I currently pay over $800 a month with a $12,000 deductible.  Looks like I may save $50 on my premium but the deductible is going to skyrocket to $16,000!  That number alone is just under half of my yearly income!  Now factor in the monthly cost, dental coverage, mortgage payment and other insurance...I'm screwed!

Opened my mail that has been sitting on my desk for three days and low and behold, my property tax bill came...another $1000!  I don't get that, I live in a town home with a backyard that takes me literally 5 minutes to mow!

Finally, my computer crashed with all my work on it!

So, not the kind of Sunday I had in mind and I am mostly just trying to remain hopeful that all of this will resolve and I won't be completely broke.  I'd really like to buy my kids Christmas presents this year that don't look like car parts!

~Sigh~

I think I will start writing in my journal 500 times...I will be submissive, full of long suffering and patience!  I will be submissive....



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