I must have done something right...

Last week, I went to Book Club like I do just about every month.  I've been going since it started in 2000!  A lot has happened in 14 years.

Book Club has evolved into something a little more than just reading a good, or bad book for the month.  It's more of a support group.  Book Club is made up of 5, use to be 6, of the strongest women I know!  Each one of us has been through a horrific tragedy of some kind, except for me.  My stuff isn't really tragic, it's just chronic.  We have been there for each other through thick and thin.  Through the passing away of husbands and children.  The weddings, the babies, the transplants and all the other happenings of life you can imagine.  We go through it together in a way.  I guess what I'm trying to say is these women are no stranger to hard times and difficult trials.

They have been through it all with me too!

Each month, we always take a little time to catch up on each other's life but last week, I seemed to monopolize the time. I guess so much has happened in 8 weeks that I haven't talked about, blogged about, advertised on Facebook, so when I started talking, it was like words just backing up in my throat, hardly able to escape fast enough.  I just kept pouring out the problems, thick!  Two hours later, I felt emptied.

As I drove home and later, laying in bed I was struck with how much has happened in 8 weeks.  That night, we really only covered one subject but in 8 weeks I have survived...

  • Major surgery to replace bones with prosthesis
  • 6 weeks of vertigo
  • A week of Shelbie in the hospital
  • Almost losing Shelbie
  • Losing two major jobs
  • Threats to my family
  • Criminal Court
  • An impromptu trip to Seattle
  • Children problems
  • Two doctors bailing out on us
  • One flood, three major water leaks
Then, there's just the day to day balancing of work, kids, back to school, balancing a budget, paying bills, making meals, cleaning the house, working at the temple...and the list goes on.  

All of a sudden, I felt so overwhelmed!  Like I could hardly breathe.  No wonder I am tired.  It's not really good for me to inventory life like this, it's not really even good for me to talk about it because it just seems so unreal!  

I look at the world around me and their summer was filled with trips, fun, family time, one joyful moment after the next and I have to admit, I wondered what I ever did to deserve this!  I also felt a little bitter and that made me extra tired.  On top of that...I have been really missing Spencer!  I've done so well all year but what I wouldn't give for a hug from that young man.  

Then, all those feelings I hate to admit, were dulled by the reality that those ladies at book club really saved me that night.  They are all so wise and they know how hard life can get.  I don't know how 14 years ago, I came to be on the list of book club attendees, but I must have done something right! 



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