Not ready for this!

I guess this is part two to the heartbreaker post.  This young man that came into Shelbie's life this week is really taken with Shelbie.  They have gone out three times and have had a great time.  He is kind to her and respectful and that is refreshing cause Shelbie has never been treated that well by boys. 

Last night, she decided since he was getting more serious, it was time to let him know that she is not your average girl.  Well, he didn't take it all that well.  I didn't take it all that well, and Shelbie didn't take it all that well.  It just sucks that reality has to be faced. 

Any guy that falls in love with Shelbie or girls that love my boys for that matter, have to know they are falling in love with disease.  This stupid disease that changes every day.  No two days are ever the same!  They are signing up for a life of financial strife!  That's a lot to take on and overwhelming to think about.  It's hard enough these days for a girl to find just a regular, decent guy but someone with a chronic illness needs more than average.  It takes someone special to take this on. 

I feel bad that Shelbie has to be in this position.  She feels bad.  For us, it's a way of life.  For someone just learning about the madness, it's totally overwhelming and that doesn't feel very good.  It's draining both physically and mentally.  I don't know what is going to happen with this relationship but I do know that it this has created a whole new turmoil for Shelbie.  Now we play the 'what if' game...

What if I never get married...what if I never find anyone to love me...what if, what if, what if....Ack!!!! 

Today has just been too much!  On top of all this, I have had to fill out mountains of paperwork for Social Security Disability.  Her father and I decided that Shelbie needs to be on disability since it is hard for her to work at a traditional job and insurance is getting hard to get and keep and extremely expensive.  I found out on Thursday, that I had filled out the wrong paperwork. So, tonight, I have been scrambling to fill out the new forms in preparation for our interview tomorrow (Monday)  It has taken me over 3 hours!!  They suggest you give yourself 90 min. to fill it out but 3 hours later, it's done!  Now come all the hoops I have to jump through to please the government. 

I'm feeling a little buried.  I know I need to be more graceful about this and I do see the tender mercies of God daily, but it's still really hard with everything I am trying to accomplish.  It's just not a good way to start the week. 
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