It is hard to believe that one year ago this month, Shelbie got sick with ITP.  Like everything that happens to us, I thought, surely this isn't going to last forever.   Well, it hasn't lasted forever but it has been one long year that at times, felt like forever. 

I remember clearly that wintery, spring day, staring out the large window in her hospital room hoping  the answer would be written in the glaring snow covered roof below.  The doctor had just left, announcing that all the treatments we had tried were no longer an option and presented three new alternatives. All three had a suck factor to them. 

One was a pill that would surely scar her bone marrow leaving her unable to be eligible for a transplant.  The second option was a spleenectomy.  The spleen is a vital organ of immunity.  Losing that would make her forever susceptible to infection and the odds of curing ITP were very slim.  Our third option was chemotherapy.  The kind of chemotherapy they suggested using, targets the B Cells or lymphocytes, again a major part of the immune system and very important white blood cells. 

The decision did not come easy.  Ultimately, we chose chemotherapy.  You can imagine our excitement when we finished and the doctor said her B-cells were safe.  We lived with that happy thought for about 3 weeks and then the illnesses began and then news followed that all her B cells had been destroyed- no immune system! 

The rest is history I guess.  Every month as we sit in the infusion room getting IVIG to put immunity back into her system, I can't help but wonder if we did the right thing but the very next thought is...I can't look back.  And, so it is, life as we know it today.  There are worse things I suppose and I think we are starting to find a groove with these infusions, a new normal.  Here's to normal!


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