A Heart Breaker
Some 12 years or so ago, I knew in my heart I needed to be prepared for a lifetime of health problems. I did what I thought would prepare us for the ups and downs that Shwachman Diamond Syndrome would surely offer us. I tried to stay vigilant with their medications, quarterly blood draws, semi annual appointments with specialists and nip whatever came as quickly as possible. I kept the house and their hands as clean as possible, free from microscopic havoc. I planned fun things, lasting memories. I read books and articles, health journals and other mother's journals. Their well being and happiness was my only concern. It still is.
I was excited that Shelbie had been asked on a date last night. I was excited that for one night, she would experience life as a normal 19 year old girl, bon fires and smores with a nice young man to share it with. InI had visions of helping her get ready and sharing in the excitement then waiting anxiously for him to come to the door.
Well, it didn't exactly go that way. Instead, there were tears. Lots of tears. She had a million reasons why she needed to cancel the date; she was too fat, too ugly, too short, too this, too that. The bottom line is that she was scared. Scared that he would find out that she was sick. Scared that he would not want to see her anymore. Scared that she will end up spending her life alone because really, who wants to marry someone sick.
She finally made it out the door and when she returned several hours later, the tears started back up. The guy was nice enough but there are so many factors that make even the simplest date a complex mess not to mention a bitter awakening to reality. This young man is smitten and wants to spend every possible moment with her which means, when does she tell him her situation. Either he will be okay with it, or find a way to get out. If it's the latter, it means another broken dream and that's sad.
The truth is, she may never find anyone ready to take on Shwachman's. She may never have the opportunities that most young women her age have. It's really been a struggle as she watches many kids she went to school with getting married and starting families. Honestly, it breaks my heart to see her so sad. It's something she hides from most people. It really breaks my heart and I have no idea how to make it all better.
I was excited that Shelbie had been asked on a date last night. I was excited that for one night, she would experience life as a normal 19 year old girl, bon fires and smores with a nice young man to share it with. InI had visions of helping her get ready and sharing in the excitement then waiting anxiously for him to come to the door.
Well, it didn't exactly go that way. Instead, there were tears. Lots of tears. She had a million reasons why she needed to cancel the date; she was too fat, too ugly, too short, too this, too that. The bottom line is that she was scared. Scared that he would find out that she was sick. Scared that he would not want to see her anymore. Scared that she will end up spending her life alone because really, who wants to marry someone sick.
She finally made it out the door and when she returned several hours later, the tears started back up. The guy was nice enough but there are so many factors that make even the simplest date a complex mess not to mention a bitter awakening to reality. This young man is smitten and wants to spend every possible moment with her which means, when does she tell him her situation. Either he will be okay with it, or find a way to get out. If it's the latter, it means another broken dream and that's sad.
The truth is, she may never find anyone ready to take on Shwachman's. She may never have the opportunities that most young women her age have. It's really been a struggle as she watches many kids she went to school with getting married and starting families. Honestly, it breaks my heart to see her so sad. It's something she hides from most people. It really breaks my heart and I have no idea how to make it all better.
I bet shelbie looked beautiful. I can't imagine what you and your family have to go through. I hope it works out the way shel wants it to. Sure miss y'all.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! She is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen! And the bravest I have ever met... She will for sure find someone who deserves her, who will be willing to learn courage from her and who will have courage to love her unconditionally.
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