LIFE. Un-defined
I have a life...it's not always the best life but it is certainly full of variety. It annoys me when people confuse me with someone who defines their life by the trials they 'keep', so to speak. For instance, I have never understood how people with addictions define their life by their addiction. An alcoholic will always introduce themself as an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic even though they have been sober for 25 years! I don't get that. Why would you want to hang on to that ugly part of your life. I realize it was once a big part of them and a bigger deal to overcome the addiction but how about an introduction like, "I have been a happy person for 25 years." or better yet, "My name is Fred."
So, what am I getting at....hmmmmm. Well, lately, things have been really tough. We have had a mountain of uncertainties pile upon us at once it seems and I've sometimes been lost in the distress of it all but I have never become my problems. Even on our worst days, we find a way to smile, someone to serve and prayer of gratitude to offer. Unfortunately, if someone calls or stops by in the middle of a moment, all they see is the broken down me and then I tend to get labeled. In reality though, I am human. I have not lost all hope nor is my faith dwindling. It just happened to be one moment in many that was not my best.
This is the main reason I decided to start this new blog. To keep the medical messes separate from the regular comings and goings of life. Yes, my kids have Shwachman Diamond Syndrome but they only have it, they are not IT. I am a single mom but even that does not define who I am. I would rather be un-defined. A mystery. A person who will surprise you with moments of strength to overcome the darkest storm, trying moments when tenderness triumphs and yes, even those unbecoming moments when laying in bed all day is the best option (though I have not experienced that yet)!
On the eve of Spencer's surgery, I thought I had had a pretty good day until I started breaking it down. I quickly realized that I used one of my favorite coping mechanisms, go manic. Do a million things to keep a frantic pace of busy-ness, forget to sleep the night before, forget to eat, forget to drink, forget that tomorrow will come and I will be sitting alone at the surgery center waiting for my son to come out of the anesthesia and surgery safely. I can do hard things....
So, what am I getting at....hmmmmm. Well, lately, things have been really tough. We have had a mountain of uncertainties pile upon us at once it seems and I've sometimes been lost in the distress of it all but I have never become my problems. Even on our worst days, we find a way to smile, someone to serve and prayer of gratitude to offer. Unfortunately, if someone calls or stops by in the middle of a moment, all they see is the broken down me and then I tend to get labeled. In reality though, I am human. I have not lost all hope nor is my faith dwindling. It just happened to be one moment in many that was not my best.
This is the main reason I decided to start this new blog. To keep the medical messes separate from the regular comings and goings of life. Yes, my kids have Shwachman Diamond Syndrome but they only have it, they are not IT. I am a single mom but even that does not define who I am. I would rather be un-defined. A mystery. A person who will surprise you with moments of strength to overcome the darkest storm, trying moments when tenderness triumphs and yes, even those unbecoming moments when laying in bed all day is the best option (though I have not experienced that yet)!
On the eve of Spencer's surgery, I thought I had had a pretty good day until I started breaking it down. I quickly realized that I used one of my favorite coping mechanisms, go manic. Do a million things to keep a frantic pace of busy-ness, forget to sleep the night before, forget to eat, forget to drink, forget that tomorrow will come and I will be sitting alone at the surgery center waiting for my son to come out of the anesthesia and surgery safely. I can do hard things....
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