The third day and other stuff

 First, the other stuff.  

I mentioned, a month or more ago, some new happenings in my life.  I took a job with an Architecture company.  Initially, the plan was to be on the design team as a project manager to work on four new temples.  That is not exactly what the experience has been but I am working on some other interesting projects like the new Behavioral Health Unit at the hospital, both inpatient and outpatient treatment areas as well as a Labor and Delivery remodel.  

This company actually contacted me, it was not on my radar at all.  I took a couple of weeks to think about it and decided it was an answer to many months of praying.  My hope was that I could eliminate some part time jobs and have a steady, reliable income.  I wanted to show up, do my work and come home without having to do more work.  That is not what has happened.  We had initially negotiated a salary I could live on but then in reality, they changed their mind.  So, I can't quit anything else and I'm committed to 30 hours a week with them.  

Needless to say, I start work between 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning and work straight through until about 9:00 PM, 6 days a week.   I split my time between 5 part time jobs.  I'm exhausted and frustrated most of the time.  I've been doing this for a month now, I'm starting to find my groove but man, it's hard.  Since the promises made to me are mostly empty, I don't dare quit anything else.  I once had one stream of income and when I unexpectedly got laid off, I was in a world of hurt.  Called it PTSD but now I've gone the opposite way.  

I'm still trying to understand why this came up if it has only made my life more difficult.  I'm trying to patient as I sort this out with God, but man, it's hard.  If it wasn't so expensive to live in this world...

Anyways, life has been tough this year with so many changes in our family.  So many disappointments, so many hard people to deal with.  I've had to be careful to guard my faith, my hope, my trust.  More often than not, my prayers have garnered the exact opposite of the needs I prayed for, and it's been so disheartening.  I came across this video on Instagram and it was so heart changing.  I urge you to take a minute to watch, regardless of your religious affiliation.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CPg0a4KJCLP/?utm_medium=share_sheet

As I watched this, I thought about the Third Day.  The day when Christ was resurrected.  It followed some very dark times, hopelessness that all was lost, including the light he carried with him.  But he lived again on the third day.  He lives still.  Sometimes, I forget that.  In the calling, pleading, and reaching, it can seem hard to find him but he is there.  

Last week, something incredible happened to me.  Something that very few people ever experience in a lifetime.  A gift that I will never, ever as long as I live, be able to repay. It was a tangible reminder that our prayers are heard.  Our pleadings and wonderings don't land on deaf ears.  It wasn't the gift I received that I was praying for exactly, but without a doubt will bless my life tremendously.  It was the fact that it was given with so much love and caring and thoughtfulness.  In my isolation and quiet struggles, there is no way these new friends from the other side of the country could have known any of my pleadings, without the Spirit bringing us together.  I have been overwhelmed with gratitude to them and to my Savior.  It was a third day kind of experience...Joy, light, reverence, gratitude.  I still can hardly function after all the kindness I received from one little family I hardly knew, at least in a personal way.   

How often I forget to feel the joy of having a Savior who gave so freely for me...for you, for us all regardless of what we have done, where we have been or how we may struggle from day to day.   The last question in the video link above, the people are asked what they would say to the Savior if they met him face to face.   

I would say "I'm Sorry."  I'm sorry for the times when I give up, when I forget the mighty miracles I see in my own life and pass them off as good luck or coincidence.  I'm sorry for my doubting attitude, my independence, my mind that is filled with more worries from the world, than peace in the Spirit.  

I have been reminded that there are good and loving people in the world.  People who truly reflect the light and love of our Savior.  

Next up...wedding photos!  Finally!  

And, if you subscribe to this blog and get it sent to your inbox when I post, that is going away.  Just a heads up.  I'll figure something else out but in the meantime, you'll just have to check back now and again.