Sam and Cass Tie the Knot

 It was one of the greatest weeks of my life and the most painfully difficult as well. 

Sam has wanted nothing more than to be married.  He and Cass have known each other 4 years and dated for 3.  I felt very confident in their decision to get married and so excited.  Cass is such a gentle, sweet and patient person.  Sam has some very specific issues with his health that can be challenging at times and Cass just seems to roll with it.  

The week of March 6th, both kids took out their endowments in the Idaho Falls Temple.  Thanks to COVID it was just the two immediate families...my little family consisted of Spencer and myself.  It felt very lonely but I tried to keep my composure.  I did a pretty good job of keeping it together, at least for that day.  

I always envisioned my kids' wedding days to be filled with family and loved ones and celebration, joy and unending happiness.  I felt so overwhelmed with just about every feeling you can imagine.  It was nothing that I had hoped for.  I felt a great deal of regret for being divorced.  I felt like a failure.  Sam didn't have his dad by his side, he didn't have any extended family, just Spencer and I.  As we sat in the sealing room waiting for them to be escorted in to the alter, I couldn't keep my emotions under control.  It was embarrassing.  I felt so much of everything.  I just held tight to Spencer's hand as together, we witnessed, without words, what this meant.  That, was sweet.  

At the same time I was feeling sad and sorrowful, I felt blessed and grateful that as a single mom, I have been able to grow a relationship with my kids, my boys especially that most other mothers don't get to experience.  My boys have been so loving and kind to me and have always been sensitive and caring.  

We have endured and been through so much!  So much that so few people can grasp and fully understand or are even aware of.  Every battle we fought in the privacy of our little home I have struggled to build, was witnessed in this moment.  Every victory, every defeat.   This was a milestone that I never thought I would see but here we were.  As the rocky past flooded my mind, the feelings of change crowded its way in too, as if to witness this event of great change.  These kids are all I have.  They have been the only thing I have anchored to.  At moments, they were the only reason I could think of to live. My only friends, my confidantes, my world, and now Sam would become all of that to his sweet wife.  I wasn't exactly sure where that left me.  Some days, I still don't.

So, it's was a joyful day and I couldn't be prouder of Sam.  He worked hard to be worthy to be a husband, provider and protector for his beautiful bride.  Here is a photo dump of that week, the week where we felt it all. 

First up...Bridals and First Look Pictures, then Endowment day, then the Wedding day...

First look...Sam cried and cried.  

March 4, 2021 Sam's Endowment

I was blessed the best boys!

Sam was able to have his best friend with him which was so special.  He has some amazing friends.

This bridal party though...so striking and beautiful.

Brothers.  It was heartwarming to watch these two support each other on their special days, as they escorted each other through the temple. 

I adore this picture of Shelbie and Sam.  These two have grown so close together the past few years.  

Spencer and Ashtin.

So proud of these kids. 

My friend catered the reception and it was phenomenal!

This is a picture of joy.