A Know It All

Do you ever get to the point in life where living the Gospel is like ground hog day; the same day over and over?  Yep, life is hard.  I know that.  I know it all!  I know that the trials are never ending, at least for us.  I know that I need to have Faith.  I know that I need to stop worrying and complaining. I know the Primary answers.

I guess you could say, I'm a know it all!

But then...you have a visit with your 20 year old child and realize...I know nothing!

As I was getting dinner ready, I called Sam in and said, "Talk to me.  Tell me about your life this week.  Tell me what your mind is troubled about, the little victories and blessings you felt this week."

"Mom.  You make me talk to you all the time.  I think we just had a conversation like this.  The one where you told me I need to figure my life out."

"Right.  But this is a different conversation and your mind has traveled a million miles since the last conversation we had a couple of days ago."

"Okay." He boldly stated, and I knew what would come out of his mouth next would be riveting...and it was.  "You know when I was out till almost 3 am last week, when I was out on the driveway talking to my friend K?  Well, we talked a lot about God and about life."  'K' is a friend I didn't know he had, who just recently returned from serving a full time mission for the church. I don't think they did much together prior to his mission, K was into competitive jump rope and tumbling and Sam was on the Parkour scene.

He went on, "Did you know we are faced with roughly 35,000 decisions in a single day?  From big decisions, to little ones, we hardly know we are facing.  It's almost as if God wanted us to screw up. How can he expect us to make the right choice 35,000 times?  Every choice leads to more choices and the choices we can make are infinite but somehow, they all lead to the same place...back to God. So, he must have things figured out.  Do you think he knows what choices we are going to make?"

Ahh...such a big question.

"Ya know...I don't think he knows what choices we are going to make because agency is so important to him, but I think he trusts us to make the right one.  You're right, how can we possibly get 35,000 choices right in a day?  He doesn't expect us to, but with every choice we make for good, or for bad and every choice everyone else around us makes, for good or for bad that affects us- He is already working on a solution, an answer, a way.  He does that through the Atonement and Jesus Christ.  All he asks of us is to be as faithful as we can.  To correct our course when it seems we have managed to stray.  Maybe, he gives us 35,000 chances to remember that we can't do this mortality gig without Him!"

Of course, it was a conversation that went on through dinner and it was great.  It got me thinking a lot too.

God knows what he is doing even when we have no clue what we are doing with ourselves.  He can accomplish more on our behalf than we can ever imagine if we stop negotiating with him for what WE think is best. We may think we know it all, but we have no clue.  Life is many things, but above all, it's about trust in our Eternal Father.

I read, several months ago this quote...though I am not sure who said it.

     "To recognize the hand of the Lord in your life, and to accept His will without complaint does not immediately eliminate the struggles that will come for your growth.  But I witness that it is the best way there is for you to find strength and understanding.  It will free you from the dead ends of your own reasoning.  It will allow your life to become a productive, meaningful experience when otherwise, you may not know how to go on."

What a timely message for me...for Sam.  We all feel a little torn down and defeated, with nothing but dead ends in the dim light. I'm pretty sure God's just working on the plans for a great remodeling of our spiritual homes, here on earth.

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