Where's the meaning...
"What does all this mean? There has to be some good that comes from such a crappy life." This was the question posed to me by an aquaintance I met at the cafeteria in the hospital yesterday. She has nine kids but her youngest two have had a summer of health problems, nothing but hospitals and trauma. In the midst of all this, she lost her job. A job she worked at for 30 years and when she asked for time off to take care of her son for a few days, they told her she couldn't have it off and they didn't really care if she quit or not.
Her story was so familiar to me in many aspects and I wanted to tell her how relatable I thought she was, I wanted to tell her she is not alone but I found myself trying to keep a safe emotional distance. I don't know why, it wasn't really fair but sometimes, it just feels like I am barely cobbled together too.
Even still, I left with a tender place in my heart for her. As we said goodbye, she implored me to call her and in her final words to me she said, "Really, there has to be good things come out of all this suffering. I want to find the good. I want to make these struggles worth the effort. I want to share a hope and love for others ya know?"
I do know what she means. There was a time when I wanted so badly to find the reasons, the purpose, the good in the struggles but lately it just feels like I am so worn down to do anything but just survive, get through one long, tedious day that melds into the next. I haven't questioned WHY in forever, maybe never and I don't plan of questioning the whys now but perhaps its time to ask the WHATS of our situation.
What good can come from this? What can I do to make a difference for other's who struggle? What can I do to change the world, foster more love and gratitude? What more can I do for my kids? What can I do to share what I've learned to help others along the path? I guess the biggest question of all...Why haven't I done anything worthwhile with my life but just get by? Lots of food for thought...
Her story was so familiar to me in many aspects and I wanted to tell her how relatable I thought she was, I wanted to tell her she is not alone but I found myself trying to keep a safe emotional distance. I don't know why, it wasn't really fair but sometimes, it just feels like I am barely cobbled together too.
Even still, I left with a tender place in my heart for her. As we said goodbye, she implored me to call her and in her final words to me she said, "Really, there has to be good things come out of all this suffering. I want to find the good. I want to make these struggles worth the effort. I want to share a hope and love for others ya know?"
I do know what she means. There was a time when I wanted so badly to find the reasons, the purpose, the good in the struggles but lately it just feels like I am so worn down to do anything but just survive, get through one long, tedious day that melds into the next. I haven't questioned WHY in forever, maybe never and I don't plan of questioning the whys now but perhaps its time to ask the WHATS of our situation.
What good can come from this? What can I do to make a difference for other's who struggle? What can I do to change the world, foster more love and gratitude? What more can I do for my kids? What can I do to share what I've learned to help others along the path? I guess the biggest question of all...Why haven't I done anything worthwhile with my life but just get by? Lots of food for thought...
Comments
Post a Comment