Promises to keep

"We have promises to keep and miles to go before we sleep" Robert Frost 
This quote has been on my mind alot this past year.  It has kept me going when I felt too tired to go on.  I never anticipated how much harder life would become with Shwachman Diamond as the kids' got older. 

I guess that's probably a common reaction; adversity strikes, you find a different rhythm and life becomes a new variety of normal.  The problem comes when you assume it will never change again but then it does.  It seems your way is hedged and finding that rhythm and a normal you can live with becomes more challenging. 

This year, SDS has felt so big.  So big there has been no way over it, no way under it and no way around it.  It has stalled life, kept me sputtering and spinning and it feels like I have accomplished nothing in over a year but just trying to keep us all above the level of the drowning waters. 

In reality, there isn't time to deal with distress and as much as I would like to just park myself and give up, I have made promises.  Promises to my kids to create the best possible life for them, promises to myself that I would not let my kids down but most of all, promises to my God that I would keep on keepin on and do everything I could to get us all home safely.  I intend to do that but some days it's harder than others.  I have enjoyed the few hours of respite we have had today.  I am trying to suck in all the healing balm of peace I can and bottle it up for rougher days that are sure to come. Ahhh.


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