Being Thoughtful
I've spent the entire week in tiring conversations with medical providers. For the most part, it's been a productive week.
I have spent so much time trying to work with nurses to help me fight the insurance denials we've been slammed with. It amounts to half of my yearly income, not covered by insurance. I tried, but without letters and explanations from the prescribing doctor, I got nowhere. Every couple of weeks I would check in with the various nurses assigned to our doctors and every time, the response was the same..."I'm working on it." This week is coming up on our time limit the insurance company gave us to appeal and I found out absolutely nothing...NOTHING had been done in nearly 6 months of promises. Also this week, the one particular nurse who has been lying to me about working on it was somehow sent to a different department. With everything else going on for us, I was very frustrated to have to start over...Until...
A couple of days ago, the new nurse called me and introduced herself as our new point of contact and she was trying to figure out what was going on with my chain of emails between me and the last nurse. We had a brief conversation but something different happened. She was nice! She was thoughtful. She instinctively knew that this would be detrimental to my finances if this wasn't addressed in a timely way. She inquired about how we were handling all the other things. She was empathetic, not patronizing. She said, "I may be new to this hospital, but I have been a nurse to the chronically ill for 14 years and I am not new to the difficulties you face each and every day." These thoughtful and loving responses are few and far between. I have never wanted pity or attention, just a simple acknowledgement that I am doing the best I can to take care of my life.
Within 24 hours, the letters were completed and sent to our insurance company. Now we wait...and pray like crazy.
In contrast, I took Shelbie to several doctor appointments this week for the same problem. Most of the visits were benign, there was just no clue what was going on. One dentist we were sent to admitted that he had never seen such a thing but instead of leaving it at that, couldn't stop harping on about flossing, cleaning, gingivitis...the usual lectures people in the dental industry love to offer without being asked. It resulted in a lot of tears and feeling shame. Shelbie's mouth is a train wreck right now.
The oral surgeon we saw yesterday was the opposite. Shelbie kept apologizing for the way her gums and teeth looked. She said, "I'm not a lazy person, I do brush my teeth and take care of them." This very kind and thoughtful doctor reassured her that none of this is because Shelbie didn't take care of her oral health. She is full of a rare disease that she had no control over.
I just hope that as we move through our day and bump into one another, we offer a thoughtful...benefit of the doubt, before judging and critiquing the shape of a person's life. Wouldn't it be a lovely place to live if we were all just a little more thoughtful? We don't wander around looking sad and forlorn but believe me, life is nothing but struggle right now and kind words go a long way!!
I have spent so much time trying to work with nurses to help me fight the insurance denials we've been slammed with. It amounts to half of my yearly income, not covered by insurance. I tried, but without letters and explanations from the prescribing doctor, I got nowhere. Every couple of weeks I would check in with the various nurses assigned to our doctors and every time, the response was the same..."I'm working on it." This week is coming up on our time limit the insurance company gave us to appeal and I found out absolutely nothing...NOTHING had been done in nearly 6 months of promises. Also this week, the one particular nurse who has been lying to me about working on it was somehow sent to a different department. With everything else going on for us, I was very frustrated to have to start over...Until...
A couple of days ago, the new nurse called me and introduced herself as our new point of contact and she was trying to figure out what was going on with my chain of emails between me and the last nurse. We had a brief conversation but something different happened. She was nice! She was thoughtful. She instinctively knew that this would be detrimental to my finances if this wasn't addressed in a timely way. She inquired about how we were handling all the other things. She was empathetic, not patronizing. She said, "I may be new to this hospital, but I have been a nurse to the chronically ill for 14 years and I am not new to the difficulties you face each and every day." These thoughtful and loving responses are few and far between. I have never wanted pity or attention, just a simple acknowledgement that I am doing the best I can to take care of my life.
Within 24 hours, the letters were completed and sent to our insurance company. Now we wait...and pray like crazy.
In contrast, I took Shelbie to several doctor appointments this week for the same problem. Most of the visits were benign, there was just no clue what was going on. One dentist we were sent to admitted that he had never seen such a thing but instead of leaving it at that, couldn't stop harping on about flossing, cleaning, gingivitis...the usual lectures people in the dental industry love to offer without being asked. It resulted in a lot of tears and feeling shame. Shelbie's mouth is a train wreck right now.
The oral surgeon we saw yesterday was the opposite. Shelbie kept apologizing for the way her gums and teeth looked. She said, "I'm not a lazy person, I do brush my teeth and take care of them." This very kind and thoughtful doctor reassured her that none of this is because Shelbie didn't take care of her oral health. She is full of a rare disease that she had no control over.
I just hope that as we move through our day and bump into one another, we offer a thoughtful...benefit of the doubt, before judging and critiquing the shape of a person's life. Wouldn't it be a lovely place to live if we were all just a little more thoughtful? We don't wander around looking sad and forlorn but believe me, life is nothing but struggle right now and kind words go a long way!!
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