Unearthly Answers
Today, I had to muster up some courage to delve a little further into the medical procedures my insurance company denied payment on. It's roughly $15,000 that I suddenly owe. This, in addition to already paying all of our deductibles and out of pocket maximums for last year, this stings a bit. A lot.
Our first shipment of plasma arrives next week and that will cost me another $10,000 and I have yet to hear if we qualified for assistance on this from the pharmaceutical company that manufactures it.
Sometimes, it's an awe-inspiring moment, like standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and letting your eyes fall into the grandeur of it all, knowing that only God could have accomplished such a beautiful and breathtaking sight. I've never stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon but I can imagine how it would feel because so often, I see my life as an edge of an impossible creation that can only be described with one word...Faith.
There are no earthly answers to the problems we face. I have spent more time trying to steer a river the past few weeks than I know is good for me. It is such a waste of time and resources because any piddly idea I have to make extra money is just that...a piddly idea. "Let's start a Go-Fund me." one of the kids said....That is a temporary fix to an ongoing situation and I'm not doing that.
I slipped from my dress pants to jeans, grabbed my winter coat and boots, threw my hair in a messy bun and headed out the door.
"Where are you going?" they asked.
"To fix this." I replied.
"Service is the currency of success." Kare Anderson.
It's no coincidence I read this earlier in the week. Ms. Anderson had written an article on the concept of the 5 Minute Favor by Adam Rifkin. Spend 5 minutes everyday doing a favor for someone. It is touted as the secret to Silicon Valley success. Upon reading it, I was reminded that it was time to start my annual 29 Gifts Project. The same idea...give away something every day for 29 days.
So, today, my 5 minute favor turned into an hour of shoveling driveways for some friends who are not able to do it themselves for various reasons. Will shoveling driveways, making meals for people, paying for someone's washing machine at the laundromat, spending 20 minutes to hear a friend's complaints help me pay medical bills that equal more than half of my yearly income?
Probably not.
Do I need something more along the lines of a miracle?
Probably so.
But if there is one thing I know for sure...there is power is service. It lifts your spirit, buoys your soul, calms your anger, stills your mind and honestly, it's the only other place I can feel the greatness and goodness of God...I mean, besides standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, or dangling my feet on the precipice of my own existence.
I don't think this problem will be solved with money. I think it can be solved with a softening of the heart...my own heart. A little patience and acceptance that things will happen in a different way, a different order than what my short sighted perspective can see. When I returned from shoveling, I was calmer, focused and sat down to pen an email to our doctors who ordered the tests suggesting that perhaps we could try to resubmit the bills in a more 'creative' manner.
I have no idea how this will end but I am going to do my best to remain watchful for a miracle or two, all while getting to work to make someone else's life just a little easier, a little more joyful, filled with a little more love.
I have faith that in some way I have yet to consider, it will all work out. Won't that be a sight to behold?
Our first shipment of plasma arrives next week and that will cost me another $10,000 and I have yet to hear if we qualified for assistance on this from the pharmaceutical company that manufactures it.
Sometimes, it's an awe-inspiring moment, like standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and letting your eyes fall into the grandeur of it all, knowing that only God could have accomplished such a beautiful and breathtaking sight. I've never stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon but I can imagine how it would feel because so often, I see my life as an edge of an impossible creation that can only be described with one word...Faith.
There are no earthly answers to the problems we face. I have spent more time trying to steer a river the past few weeks than I know is good for me. It is such a waste of time and resources because any piddly idea I have to make extra money is just that...a piddly idea. "Let's start a Go-Fund me." one of the kids said....That is a temporary fix to an ongoing situation and I'm not doing that.
I slipped from my dress pants to jeans, grabbed my winter coat and boots, threw my hair in a messy bun and headed out the door.
"Where are you going?" they asked.
"To fix this." I replied.
"Service is the currency of success." Kare Anderson.
It's no coincidence I read this earlier in the week. Ms. Anderson had written an article on the concept of the 5 Minute Favor by Adam Rifkin. Spend 5 minutes everyday doing a favor for someone. It is touted as the secret to Silicon Valley success. Upon reading it, I was reminded that it was time to start my annual 29 Gifts Project. The same idea...give away something every day for 29 days.
So, today, my 5 minute favor turned into an hour of shoveling driveways for some friends who are not able to do it themselves for various reasons. Will shoveling driveways, making meals for people, paying for someone's washing machine at the laundromat, spending 20 minutes to hear a friend's complaints help me pay medical bills that equal more than half of my yearly income?
Probably not.
Do I need something more along the lines of a miracle?
Probably so.
But if there is one thing I know for sure...there is power is service. It lifts your spirit, buoys your soul, calms your anger, stills your mind and honestly, it's the only other place I can feel the greatness and goodness of God...I mean, besides standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, or dangling my feet on the precipice of my own existence.
I don't think this problem will be solved with money. I think it can be solved with a softening of the heart...my own heart. A little patience and acceptance that things will happen in a different way, a different order than what my short sighted perspective can see. When I returned from shoveling, I was calmer, focused and sat down to pen an email to our doctors who ordered the tests suggesting that perhaps we could try to resubmit the bills in a more 'creative' manner.
I have no idea how this will end but I am going to do my best to remain watchful for a miracle or two, all while getting to work to make someone else's life just a little easier, a little more joyful, filled with a little more love.
I have faith that in some way I have yet to consider, it will all work out. Won't that be a sight to behold?
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