The world will never know
I have sure missed my daily writing.
We've been slammed with life, or mostly avoiding life, running from it, denying that it exists...something along those lines. Nothing earth shattering, just more of the same stuff that pulls us in a million, emotional directions.
It's been an especially stressful week for Sam. He has worked 43 hours at Frito Lay, another 8 hours at the trampoline park and taught a Parkour class and had a small, but painful procedure on his foot.
Here's the thing, the doctor, as he examined the foot situation prior to the procedure is fairly new to our awesome existence. We like him a lot but He wasn't around for the start of this ordeal 4 years ago. He didn't see how cellulitis was taking over his foot. He didn't see how little antibiotics did to fix the situation. He wasn't there for two prior removals of the toenail in an effort to deal with the stubborn infection. Mostly though, he hasn't been around the last couple of years to see the toll of life on our family. I think he forgot we have had dealt with two cardiac arrests, two pacemakers, one stroke...on and on so the ongoing toe saga was the least of our concerns for months in a row. So, when he innocently asked, "How did you let this get to this point?" It was a reasonable question but he will never know, how that happened. He will never see how well I avoid problems these days because I am so worn out. He will never understand how easy it has become for us to stop addressing problems because no one is willing to help us figure it out anyways...so, we live with it, live far below what we should expect. The world will never know all the parts to suffering.
Last week, a lady spoke in church about her severe sense of loneliness. It was probably one of the most important sermons I heard all day. All month. The world will never know the kind of courage it took for her to dig deep into all those messy feelings and admit what many, I'm sure, feel all the time. She silver lined and sugar coated the heart felt remarks appropriately, heaven forbid anyone were to feel uncomfortable about her reality. I've thought about this lonely stranger all week. The world will never know how many people can be lonely in a crowd, even among loved ones.
It's becoming easier and easier to drift apart from a world that will never know. Each season of our life has come with challenges, some more physical than others. This season is no different. We are challenged at every turn and I'm realizing as my kids get older that there is very little I can do to help them and the world will never know how hard that is when there was a day, I thought I could save them from this disease and it's world of hurt.
We've been slammed with life, or mostly avoiding life, running from it, denying that it exists...something along those lines. Nothing earth shattering, just more of the same stuff that pulls us in a million, emotional directions.
It's been an especially stressful week for Sam. He has worked 43 hours at Frito Lay, another 8 hours at the trampoline park and taught a Parkour class and had a small, but painful procedure on his foot.
Here's the thing, the doctor, as he examined the foot situation prior to the procedure is fairly new to our awesome existence. We like him a lot but He wasn't around for the start of this ordeal 4 years ago. He didn't see how cellulitis was taking over his foot. He didn't see how little antibiotics did to fix the situation. He wasn't there for two prior removals of the toenail in an effort to deal with the stubborn infection. Mostly though, he hasn't been around the last couple of years to see the toll of life on our family. I think he forgot we have had dealt with two cardiac arrests, two pacemakers, one stroke...on and on so the ongoing toe saga was the least of our concerns for months in a row. So, when he innocently asked, "How did you let this get to this point?" It was a reasonable question but he will never know, how that happened. He will never see how well I avoid problems these days because I am so worn out. He will never understand how easy it has become for us to stop addressing problems because no one is willing to help us figure it out anyways...so, we live with it, live far below what we should expect. The world will never know all the parts to suffering.
Last week, a lady spoke in church about her severe sense of loneliness. It was probably one of the most important sermons I heard all day. All month. The world will never know the kind of courage it took for her to dig deep into all those messy feelings and admit what many, I'm sure, feel all the time. She silver lined and sugar coated the heart felt remarks appropriately, heaven forbid anyone were to feel uncomfortable about her reality. I've thought about this lonely stranger all week. The world will never know how many people can be lonely in a crowd, even among loved ones.
It's becoming easier and easier to drift apart from a world that will never know. Each season of our life has come with challenges, some more physical than others. This season is no different. We are challenged at every turn and I'm realizing as my kids get older that there is very little I can do to help them and the world will never know how hard that is when there was a day, I thought I could save them from this disease and it's world of hurt.
Comments
Post a Comment