Making everything better

Yesterday was a discouraging post.  Probably because right now, we have a discouraging life.

Anyways...so I saw this thing on the internet and the headline read...52 tricks to make everything better!  I thought, 'That's exactly what I need!  It must be meant for me because I really need to make all this better...and fast!'  Here's how I'm going to fix my life, as per the article. (just a few that struck me as especially helpful.)

  • Buy a bomber jacket.  BECAUSE...celebrities, musicians and sports people wear them and it's the thing to do.  I guess that's why 2017 was so hard!  I don't have a bomber jacket so, I'm going to get one. 
  • Upgrade your camping gear.  YES!  That is the key.  My camping gear sucks! Just another reflection of all that is wrong in my life.  I did get a Yeti mug for Christmas and gee, it's awesome.  My diet coke stays so freaking cold!  Every day is way better with a quality diet coke mug.  Yeti...if you are lame and don't know what that is, is a camping brand and they make the greatest coolers too!  If your life sucks, you should start here at least, with a new YETI mug. 
  • Eat your veggies first.  I thought you were suppose to eat dessert first since life is so unpredictable?  Well, this article says eat veggies first so that's what I'm going to start doing.  I'll eat dessert second which won't be bad, it will wash down the remnants of brussel sprouts that leave a healthy film on your tongue. 
  • Go to Spain!  What?  I'm there.  They are suffering in a terrible recession so apparently that's good for me.  It says I can have a high end experience on a poor man's budget. Rooms are only $300 a night.  That's a bargain for sure!  A poor man's bargain! 
  • Buy a better office chair.  I have been thinking about this for sure.  Most days, I sit at my desk and think...If only I had a better chair, I would be happier. 
  • Step up your dating game.  I do need to do this. A man makes everything better, obviously.  I didn't fall into this mostly amazing life without the help of a man.  I just need to find another one that doesn't mind sticking around. The article suggests getting some new perfume and a haircut.  Who knew snatching the perfect man was all about perfume and haircuts?  I'm totally doing this.  Probably if I just even brushed my hair, now and again, they would see me and overlook all this baggage I'm dragging behind me!  I can't wait to go out tonight and see what I can catch! I think there is something to this though because three weeks ago, I was at Walmart on a day when I did actually comb my hair and I was even wearing jeans, not yoga pants and this incredibly handsome man walked passed me and then turned around and said, "You're rocking this look today! Wow!" and then disappeared in the fishing aisle.  I think I will also spend more time in the fly tying aisle at Walmart on the days I look presentable. 
  • Do the Downward Dog in the Himalayas.  I wish I was starting 2017 with this article, now I'm a year behind, at least on making everything better.  I should have time after Spain to get in a few downward dogs in the Himalayas...if I budget my time and poor man's budget right. 
  • Get fitted for running shoes.  It didn't say you had to actually run.  Just get fitted for running shoes.  That sounds easy enough, I mean, if the pay off is making everything else better, why not give it a shot?
  • Practice moderation.  I can see how this might be good.  I did eat an entire 5 lb bag of Swedish Fish once, in about 12 minutes.  It did make for a rough day, more than usual.  I'll try this. 
  • Upgrade your sunglasses!  Now this one makes total sense.  I currently don't own sunglasses which I'm sure is a huge part of my problem! I see everything!  EVERYTHING!  All the flaws and short comings of life.  I see what's coming next.  I see too much, that is clearly the problem.  Sunglasses are similar to Rose Colored glasses only not as bright and rosey.  It's better not to see what's coming at ya.  I think this is really good advice.  I should have thought of this myself.  So easy for such a great pay off to fix everything. 
  • Drink more Gin.  Oh, you didn't hear?!!...It's good for you this year! It's because it's made with Juniper Berry and we all know Juniper Berry helps with arthritis...which I have, joint pain...which I have, lung congestion...which I might have someday, improves digestion...who doesn't want that?  AND it improves liver function!  Gee whiz...my liver has felt sluggish lately.  This might be the best news I've heard all year!  It says that pink Gin is especially helpful and I love the color pink so that seems like a good fit. 
  • Buy a bed in a box.  Apparently, you get better sleep on a mattress that comes stuffed into a small box that UPS drops at your door.  This is a must for me!  I wonder if I could get the same effect just sleeping in a box?  Because I'm on a poor man's budget.  I'll consider this one but won't commit just yet.  I'd like to try some of these other helpful tips first.  
Maybe 2018 won't be so bad after all!  At least now, I have some direction.  Some hope.  Some tried and true ways to make everything better. Whew!

Comments

  1. Omihek!!! Seriously said those things?!? PS, I'll get you a fishing licence this summer.

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