Monday, Spencer was feeling much better. Shelbie was feeling alright and Sam was awesome. They all got up and ready to go to the State Fair with their Dad and little sister.
They all looked so good and so happy, I couldn't let the photo op slip by. In one moment, for a brief second, I looked at them and caught my second wind just a bit. I know that people have endless reasons to judge me and have given words to their off the wall thoughts about me. Contrary to the popular belief... I care about them and care for them and will make any sacrifice necessary to see that they have the best life possible and a chance to experience a dream or two. They are fighters and they keep going regardless of what comes their way. I hope they see their own goodness.
I didn't offer them much in the way of healthy genes but they are good looking kids- though I'm pretty sure they didn't get it from me either, just a luck of the draw I think! But, like I always say, It's better to look good than to feel good! They love each other.
The appointments are being set up for all of our specialists and we almost have it all organized for the next couple of months. I had to laugh...A nurse from Huntsman's called me yesterday and gave me the lowdown on the appointments left to schedule and then she said, "I don't normally ask parents this but would you mind helping me make some of these calls?" She was very sweet and I have no problem helping out. In fact, it makes more sense for me to get involved so I can co-ordinate everyone's work schedules and other appointments near and far. I was happy for her thoughtfulness.
I have been feeling both stressed and blessed. I worry just a little every time Spencer leaves the house and Sam for that matter but I let them go and somehow, by the grace of God I can go on with my day and not dwell on the what ifs and maybes. That's huge. Not many people think I have it in me to let go.