Every Thing

So, we are trying to find our new normal now.  Spencer has been gone a week and while it's still weird and wild, we are adjusting.  I'm not so sure he is but I guess that is to be expected.

Today was his first day of school.  One teacher didn't show up and another seemed to have no clue what she was teaching and he's on a waiting list for a class he really needs and the teacher said he wouldn't decide until next week.  If he doesn't get that class, then he will probably have to defer until January because he won't get his Pell Grant without 12 credits.  There are no other classes available that he can take.

Sometimes, I wonder why everything has to be hard.  I get that some things have to be difficult so you learn patience and whatever.  When every single thing you try is always hard, all the time...it gets really frustrating.

In my head, I get it.  My heart is another story.  I'm really ready for something easy.  Hmmmm, seems I've been looking around for easy since the beginning of time and apparently, I am still stuck on the corner of unclear and vague...I just need to find my way to Easy Street!

Spencer tries so hard, harder than anyone I know, to be positive and look on the bright side but when I talked to him tonight, he wasn't doing a very good job of hiding his struggles.  Still, he wouldn't give in to his frustrations.

In other news...We get biopsy results tomorrow!  Here we go again, praying for something easy like H-pylori as Shelbie's rough GI problems as opposed to something like cancer.  Those nodules were there and though they didn't scream cancer or inflammation...they were not recognized.  She has had H-Pylori and I have never felt the medication fixed the issues so that's why I'm leaning towards that.  Her entire stomach was full of little ulcers.  We well see.

Sam continues to hum along.  Some days better than others.  If I really get after him for moping around, he perks up for a few hours but then gets quiet and sad again.

Man... every thing is hard right now.  Doesn't help that I got sick at work tonight!  I came straight home and have been miserable all night!

Here's to pressing on, pressing forward...keeping up the good fight!



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