Where to start

I have been neglecting this blog because so much has been happening on the other side of my life, the 'nuttin wise' side.  Spencer has been gone just one week and at times it feels like a year already but then I realize we still have two more years to go.

He was sick for the week before he left and he is still sick.  I was hoping it was just nerves and such but I guess not.  There is nothing I can do about it.  I received the really cool medic alert bracelets and need to get that information updated but life continues to be a rat race.

Yesterday, I had to have surgery!  I am not a good surgery patient, I am not a good anything patient.  Not nearly as good as my kids. A couple of months ago, I blogged over on my other blog about the fun I had getting a mammogram.  In cased you missed that adventure... Go HERE.  I didn't exactly follow up on that visit.

After a second opinion, okay actually 4 opinions from various docs, I was urged to have the solid tumor they found, removed.  I had that done yesterday.  I also had many cysts on the other side that had 'debris' in them so those were removed as well.  Now, this is not my first rodeo with breast lumps.  They seem to crop up like dandelions!  So far, they have all been benign.  Whew...so this was my third go around.

One of the hardest things about being single is handling this kind of stuff alone.  I use to have a husband who came along and sat beside me.  Now, I have good kids who drop me off and pick me up.  Yesterday was no different.  I had a friend offer to drive me but the kids want to be helpful so I figured it didn't really matter who dropped me off.  They pulled up to the front doors, I handed them breakfast money and we waved goodbye.  I hated watching them drive up.  I put on my brave face and walked in for my first procedure.

Because of the location of the tumor, I had to have a wire localization done first.  That hurts, in case you were wondering.  They take a gigantic needle and push it into the center of the tumor, then thread a wire into it.  The wire has a little fish hook on the end and grabs the bottom of the tumor. Then the needle comes out.  Sounds easy enough right?  Wrong.  Either this guy doing it needed to spend more time at the gym or the tumor is actually just a piece of rock that got lodged there somehow.  He was grunting and groaning and pushing on my ribs trying to get that needle in!  Ouch.  However, I have mastered the art of not crying when that's all I really want to do and just sat there.  They kept asking me if I was okay and I just smiled, "yes, I'm fine."
"Are we hurting you?"
"Yes, but that's fine."
 That's pretty much how the rest of the day went.  From that procedure, I was transported by wheelchair across the street to the surgery center.  I was actually wearing that bright pink mammogram cape only this time, I had a lovely wire sticking out of my chesticles.

I laid in pre-op for quite awhile until they were ready to go.  I didn't think this was going to be a big surgery.  I figured an hour tops but it was just over two hours.  I remember them waking me up in post-op and I was crying.  I was glad for the sweet nurse who held my hand.  I also remember my super duper surgeon when he came into the OR, he sat down beside me and just held my hand first.  At least I think that's what he did, I was on Versed so I may have been imagining that but I'm pretty sure I'm not.  He is a great guy!  He has a great wife too and she came in to check on me once I was in post op.

So, that's that.  Not fun and today has not been fun.  My kidneys are so sluggish and I feel like a giant sponge that needs to be wrung out!  And let's talk about pain...holy smokes, this is not like my other surgeries.  This one has been so painful and I am one giant bruise!  I hate being incapacitated!  Hate it!

I have not slept in days and have had to work today so I am a bit wilted and super tired but, this too shall pass.  It will be two weeks before pathology comes back.  It still remains a mystery lump so here's hoping for good news.  It's always a little mind bending waiting around for these things but, as usual, life goes on and I will continue to smile and say, "I'm fine."