The world according to me
Well, seems I hit a nerve with that last post. Sorry if I offended anyone, well, I'm sorry but I'm not. The brave anonymous person who posted a comment on my last post was right, everyone does have their cross to bear whether it's a laundry problem or a dying of cancer problem and everything in between. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to never underestimate the challenges God can give you.
I try really hard to deal with my challenges the best I can. I usually do a lot better at it than I have this past year. There are really no words to describe how overwhelming this year has been. If you spend any length of time in this house, it begins to show.
My parents have been here for a week and I said to them this morning, when I felt things getting a little crazy and out of control, "You better leave, our dysfunction is showing."
They have been helpful in many ways. It's just nice to have someone else around to help me with the little things I have been having a hard time getting on top of including laundry and Sam's math homework. I will miss the helping hands when they leave tomorrow.
So, this is my blog and I usually try to keep things positive around here but the truth is, sometimes, no matter how you cut it, it's hard and I get frustrated, and anxious and just can't keep up the happy facade I generally try to keep. If you don't like hearing about my bad days then move on to one of the other hundreds of million blogs where there is a topic much more interesting than a family falling apart. I don't think my frustrations are much different than for instance, a couple unable to have a baby who get jealous and yes, even resentful of couples who have kids coming out of their ears or any number of other situations.
I remember one time when I had moved into a new ward at church and I was nine months pregnant with Shelbie. Two girls sat beside me and said, "We already hate you."
I thought they were joking but came to find out they had been trying for a year to have a baby hadn't been blessed with one. Now I see them around town and they both have lots of kids! One has 6, very healthy children and I am so happy for her. Still, I wonder if she remembers what she said to me, I wonder if she knows that my dream of having a healthy baby never did come true. I wonder what she would think now.
We all get tired, we all get annoyed and life presses in upon us. I don't know about you but I am discovering that I am human and I am not perfect like I once hoped to be or was at least anxiously engaged in becoming. Now, I'm just hoping we make it through the day in one piece or at least one glued together, looking halfway normal piece.
Thanks Tanya and Traci for your kind words.
I try really hard to deal with my challenges the best I can. I usually do a lot better at it than I have this past year. There are really no words to describe how overwhelming this year has been. If you spend any length of time in this house, it begins to show.
My parents have been here for a week and I said to them this morning, when I felt things getting a little crazy and out of control, "You better leave, our dysfunction is showing."
They have been helpful in many ways. It's just nice to have someone else around to help me with the little things I have been having a hard time getting on top of including laundry and Sam's math homework. I will miss the helping hands when they leave tomorrow.
So, this is my blog and I usually try to keep things positive around here but the truth is, sometimes, no matter how you cut it, it's hard and I get frustrated, and anxious and just can't keep up the happy facade I generally try to keep. If you don't like hearing about my bad days then move on to one of the other hundreds of million blogs where there is a topic much more interesting than a family falling apart. I don't think my frustrations are much different than for instance, a couple unable to have a baby who get jealous and yes, even resentful of couples who have kids coming out of their ears or any number of other situations.
I remember one time when I had moved into a new ward at church and I was nine months pregnant with Shelbie. Two girls sat beside me and said, "We already hate you."
I thought they were joking but came to find out they had been trying for a year to have a baby hadn't been blessed with one. Now I see them around town and they both have lots of kids! One has 6, very healthy children and I am so happy for her. Still, I wonder if she remembers what she said to me, I wonder if she knows that my dream of having a healthy baby never did come true. I wonder what she would think now.
We all get tired, we all get annoyed and life presses in upon us. I don't know about you but I am discovering that I am human and I am not perfect like I once hoped to be or was at least anxiously engaged in becoming. Now, I'm just hoping we make it through the day in one piece or at least one glued together, looking halfway normal piece.
Thanks Tanya and Traci for your kind words.
I think that you are one of the most positive people I know. I really mean that, too. Remember when you gave my nephew who you've never even met before a care package?! You and your family do stuff like that all the time. I think you are always thinking of others and it's okay to think about yourself too and vent about problems, for heaven's sake! You have had (and still have) tremendous struggles and yet you still manage to rise above somehow.
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