Two for One
Does it ever feel like you are getting two weeks of living for the price of one? That's how I feel this week. My poor kids, my poor me! Every single minute of everyday has been crammed with something important to do; from 6:00am to 12:30am, I have been on the go.
Tuesday was pretty insane. I had three doctor appointments back to back. By the time I finished with my last appointment, I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things to tie us over until I can go shopping for real. I think it had been easily three, maybe four weeks since I went grocery shopping. I was so tired and in so much pain. For my last doctor appointment, I had to have a cortisone shot in my lower back - not fun.
Right around the bread aisle, I ran into some people I know and they asked how things were. I gave them the Disney version of life these days and that was going well. I had my usual happy face on, my falsetto voice of 'just fine' and the little laugh I have perfected over the years that contributes to the, 'all is well' kind of story that is completely fabricated of course. Sneaking up from behind me, came the most horrendous, huge and uncontrollable crocodile tears! I wasn't expecting it and from the look on the lady's face, she wasn't expecting it either! How embarrassing! Her husband said, "Here, just give me your list." What a wise man, leave the scene of a crying lady in the bread aisle and move on to the vegetables.
I was apologetic and tried to pull myself together again. "Weird things happen when I am both tired and in pain." then trailed off with that awkward chuckle as I tried to hide my red, blotchy face from the other unsuspecting shoppers on a Tuesday afternoon. I don't like sounding so negative so then I back tracked through my sugar coated words and said, "Really, everything is great! I got a couple of great little jobs this week, I got paid for a job I finished a long time ago and I am playing the organ in the Temple. So many wonderful opportunities, it's just great!"
Thankfully, we were both able to escape a very awkward situation. It's really weird how we try so hard to look good, we try so hard to feel good or make people around us think we are feeling so good but when a moment comes along and the reality of our life spills out unexpectedly, I realize how much energy we expend trying to be normal, trying to fit in and not scare anyone or appear too negative, needy or sick. It's a hard thing to balance. I have many more thoughts racing through my mind but perhaps it's better saved for another time.
Tuesday was pretty insane. I had three doctor appointments back to back. By the time I finished with my last appointment, I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things to tie us over until I can go shopping for real. I think it had been easily three, maybe four weeks since I went grocery shopping. I was so tired and in so much pain. For my last doctor appointment, I had to have a cortisone shot in my lower back - not fun.
Right around the bread aisle, I ran into some people I know and they asked how things were. I gave them the Disney version of life these days and that was going well. I had my usual happy face on, my falsetto voice of 'just fine' and the little laugh I have perfected over the years that contributes to the, 'all is well' kind of story that is completely fabricated of course. Sneaking up from behind me, came the most horrendous, huge and uncontrollable crocodile tears! I wasn't expecting it and from the look on the lady's face, she wasn't expecting it either! How embarrassing! Her husband said, "Here, just give me your list." What a wise man, leave the scene of a crying lady in the bread aisle and move on to the vegetables.
I was apologetic and tried to pull myself together again. "Weird things happen when I am both tired and in pain." then trailed off with that awkward chuckle as I tried to hide my red, blotchy face from the other unsuspecting shoppers on a Tuesday afternoon. I don't like sounding so negative so then I back tracked through my sugar coated words and said, "Really, everything is great! I got a couple of great little jobs this week, I got paid for a job I finished a long time ago and I am playing the organ in the Temple. So many wonderful opportunities, it's just great!"
Thankfully, we were both able to escape a very awkward situation. It's really weird how we try so hard to look good, we try so hard to feel good or make people around us think we are feeling so good but when a moment comes along and the reality of our life spills out unexpectedly, I realize how much energy we expend trying to be normal, trying to fit in and not scare anyone or appear too negative, needy or sick. It's a hard thing to balance. I have many more thoughts racing through my mind but perhaps it's better saved for another time.
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