Fearless?
Yesterday, the kids and I watched a documentary called "A Day in the Life". It was pretty random and consisted of just a bunch of random people and how they spend one Saturday in July. It was both intriguing and boring but on Thanksgiving when half the family is sick, what else is there to do right?
Anyways, there was some guy talking about how he has battled cancer with his wife twice and won. He said, "Nothing scares me anymore. I am fearless." Fearless? What would life be like if you were fearless? Does it take a showdown with death at high noon with tumble weed blowing by your rugged boots one dusty Saturday in the middle of a desolate, ghostly town?
I don't know but I can't get that thought out of my head. I have had my own showdown or two with the threats of death or at least crippling disease and I am not fearless. Two days ago, a good friend and her husband were in a head-on collision on the highway. Thankfully, their 10 children were not traveling with them. Both are in intensive care. She broke and/or crushed multiple bones, head contusions, lacerated liver and the list goes on. When she has completed numerous surgeries and months before she can take one little baby step, will she be fearless?
Sometimes, I feel like I have survived the hardest thing ever and nothing would shake my world. Most times, I feel scared. Always hyper alert for danger, trouble, freak accidents. When my kids walk out the door, I sometimes can't get the worst case scenarios out of my mind. I hope the day will come when I will have enough hope, enough faith, to say that I too am fearless. Until then...I guess I will try to enjoy this white knuckle ride.
Anyways, there was some guy talking about how he has battled cancer with his wife twice and won. He said, "Nothing scares me anymore. I am fearless." Fearless? What would life be like if you were fearless? Does it take a showdown with death at high noon with tumble weed blowing by your rugged boots one dusty Saturday in the middle of a desolate, ghostly town?
I don't know but I can't get that thought out of my head. I have had my own showdown or two with the threats of death or at least crippling disease and I am not fearless. Two days ago, a good friend and her husband were in a head-on collision on the highway. Thankfully, their 10 children were not traveling with them. Both are in intensive care. She broke and/or crushed multiple bones, head contusions, lacerated liver and the list goes on. When she has completed numerous surgeries and months before she can take one little baby step, will she be fearless?
Sometimes, I feel like I have survived the hardest thing ever and nothing would shake my world. Most times, I feel scared. Always hyper alert for danger, trouble, freak accidents. When my kids walk out the door, I sometimes can't get the worst case scenarios out of my mind. I hope the day will come when I will have enough hope, enough faith, to say that I too am fearless. Until then...I guess I will try to enjoy this white knuckle ride.
Oh man, this is tough stuff here. I hope Spencer gets better quick. That fearless thought is interesting. I feel like i am braver in some things (like roller coasters, needles and sharing my feelings), but more scared about disease and the future. After experiencing major anxiety at diagnosis, i swore i would not get stressed out about things that arent life or death, but i still do.
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