The Facts of Life

 We take the good, we take the bad...it's all wrapped up into the facts of life.  Life is fair; in all it's inconsistencies, it's fair.  Some days, it's easier to remember this than others.  I'm trying to maintain the perspective that I need to appreciate the moments as they happen, and watch with shades of hope, to understand one day, what it all meant. 

Sam and Cass are officially engaged and I couldn't be happier for them both.  I can't tell you how many moments were wasted when my kids were younger, worrying about who they would choose for their eternal companion.  Sam chose well.   He is one blessed young man to have such a sweet daughter of God by his side.  I look at Cass and Ashtin and I see strength and courage.  It would take a healthy serving of faith to jump into this family, and that fact is not lost on me.  Cass is one blessed young woman to have by her side, a young man who loves her and treats her with nothing but love and tenderness and wants more than anything to take care of her.  

This week, has been hard.  The news of this pending union has not been met with joy by all involved and honestly, it's been heartbreaking.  We choose our battles and while this is not my battle to fight, I could see that there were things I could do, instead of being contentious.  I've had to shore up the faith and remind these two of their goodness.  I've had to encourage Sam to not give up or give in to the opinions of others. I've had to extend a degree of kindness to myself as I immediately saw the negative comments as a direct hit to me as Sam's mother.  

I have surely made mistakes...many mistakes.  In the past, and even now, I didn't handle the trials of life with as much Grace as I wish I could have.   Many around me view our family as broken.  Divorce ruins the economy of a family and we have been conditioned to live in scarcity.  As hard as I tried to shield my kids from these realities, it is what it has been.  I realize that Sam has some health issues that seem to the outsider, overwhelming and I try to remember that, but when I look at Sam, I see a million other redeeming qualities before I see how the disease has changed what could have been.  I suppose we have been blessed with faith because of the life we have had to endure and now, more than ever, I see what a gift these trials have become.  Not everyone can see with that perspective. 

Regardless, these two have their eyes wide open and are looking ahead in faith.  They have worked to better themselves and each other over the past two years that they have dated.  I guess I look at this new life for the two of them with hope and faith and I can see how that might not come as easily to others.  I know it will not be easy but I know I will never let them feel like they aren't supported in whatever comes.  We are a family and we show up!  We show up in the thick and in the thin, frayed edges of life.   When you are surrounded by support and a loving Father in Heaven who knows how to give good gifts to his children, how can you fail?  

As I increase my love and service to Sam and Cass, I hope that hearts will soften and the life they want to embark on will happen with blessings for all and somewhere down the road, I hope there is understanding and forgiveness.